After I deleted my Yahoo board, I also decided to delete my Facebook page. I originally created that page in order to participate in a FB book study group which an internet friend hosted. She and I were the only 2 active participants, though the group included many 'lurkers'. I ended up finishing the book study by myself (posting my impressions of each chapter on the FB study page). I had previously read, written discussion questions and chapter summaries for and taught that book to a local group. So I primarily reread the book and did the study to support my friend. She got sidetracked into other activities, while I finished the book. Eventually she also finished the study and posted her impressions online.
Meanwhile I got caught up in all the FB quizzes, reading my FB acquaintance comments, adding replies, etc., etc. I was also moderating and posting replies to my very active board (1250 posts the first month, 850 the second month and almost 800 the first 3 weeks of July, before I deleted the board). Besides the yahoo board and FB, I checked my email, another 2 boards (posted replies on one) and read a few more 'favorites' sites daily. I suspect I spent anywhere from 3-6 hours online daily.
So I decided to delete my board and then discontinue my FB page. I also deleted from my 'favorites' many blogs and a few websites I used to read. I still want to turn on this computer and 'check in'. That lets me sit and vegetate for a few minutes after returning home from errands, walks, etc. However, without a board to moderate or FB to monitor 'friends' (most are only acquaintances), I can't sit very long.
Maybe limiting what I can easily access online list is like portion control with desserts. If I serve myself a small dish of ice cream, I will eat much less than if I eat out of the carton. Likewise, if I only have this and one other friend's blog, one board membership ('Intuitive Eating'), a couple of 'favorite' websites and few important emails daily, I can avoid spending so much time online. Just as I approach eating, I don't want to completely eliminate internet activity (an all or nothing approach). I just want to minimize how much time I spend online.
Meanwhile I've discovered much more time for spontaneous household and garden projects. Yesterday I grated and froze zucchini and made a loaf of zucchini bread. Today I successfully cleaned a very moldy plastic tablecloth. Rather than sit and post on boards last night, I played my piano for over an hour. Likewise my husband, rather than veg out in front of his computer, sat and read the paper while listening to me play. AMAZING!!
Rather than filling my time with internet relationships, I've made time for more spontaneous connection with face-to-face relationships. While I picked blueberries last night, I had a great conversation with the guy who's working on cleaning up the yard in the vacant rental house next door. While I appreciate a few supportive friends whom I met online, I can still chat with them on IM or email them. However, limiting my internet time allows me to enjoy everyone else in my life.
I didn't purposely decide to limit internet and tv time. I just got really bored sitting in front of this computer, on sunny days or when I planned to do other projects, but felt obligated to moderate my board. So one thing led to another ... Now I love having all this extra time. I don't feel so overwhelmed by all the projects I want to do but never find time to do.
Obviously, I will still post updates on this blog as well as use this blog to sort out my thoughts and beliefs. However, I don't feel obligated to my 'readers' (whoever you are), like I felt obligated to my board members. I don't know where this newfound freedom will lead, but I enjoy the ride.
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7 comments:
did you get square eyes from looking at the monitor yet???
glad you went and decided on life instead of computer
Claudia
Hi Claudia: I actually meant to save those 2 paragraphs as a 'draft' and add more later. I didn't realized I posted that.
So I added a few more paragraphs to that post and changed the title. Maybe you would like to read the rest now and find out how my 'story ends. LOL
I like the way you said this: "I don't want to completely eliminate internet activity (an all or nothing approach). I just want to minimize how much time I spend online."
I think it's best that you decided to limit your time online. You are very kind and giving, and I think when you take on a responsibility (like running a message board) you give your all to it...maybe it's just the way you naturally are...but you're right, there needs to be a healthy limit.
There's so much more you can do out there in the world, instead of facing the computer for hours and hours.
The internet can be a good resource of information and support, which (for me) improves my life outside of the time I spend at the computer.
I think if you feel "obliged" to the activity you participate in online then it's not benefiting you (instead you give all your time to help others).
Anyway, I'm just happy for you...and wanted to share my view on this.
Olia
Thanks, Olia. You're right. When I decide to lead a group or moderate a message board, I give that position my 'all', which is waaay more than the group or board members give. So often I notice that the members just expect me to keep holding meetings or moderating the board, even though they don't attend or post very often.
Perhaps if I didn't want to just help people, when I moderate a board ... Maybe if I really used the board to sell my book or my therapy services or other products, then I wouldn't feel so frustrated by people who want to talk about their problems but never actually change.
I have difficulty believing I 'help' people if they stay stuck in their problem. Anybody could give them sympathy. I offer ways to resolve their problems. However, I've learned ... many people who post on boards just want sympathy ... not everybody, but many.
I'm amazed at how much I can accomplish when I don't spend so much time online. I'm amazed at how much freer I feel when I'm not constantly worrying about people's 'problems'. I have enough of my own problems, with ongoing physical challenges.
SUE
Ahhh... I must be one of the ones you deleted off your blog list cause I was surprised you didn't respond to some recent posts.
Miss chatting on FB here and there. I was just reading about the recurrence of your pain and distress. Praying that you find the answer you need.
Have you read this book http://www.amazon.com/Say-Goodbye-Illness-Good-Bye/dp/0965824217 ? It's SOOO GOOD!
Thanks, April. I checked the Amazon review of that book. Unfortunately I don't have many IgE immediate reaction allergies. I don't care about hay fever. I just blow my nose more often. LOL I control my delayed reaction food allergies by abstaining from allergens.
My current problem is a common (sometimes lethal) bacteria that many people get after taking antibiotics. Unfortunately I did NOT take any antibiotics recently. I really don't know how I got C-diff. I spent a horrible 2 weeks taking flagyl to kill off C-diff. However the symptoms are back.
I've read that 25% of patients treated for C-diff do NOT get well after only one treatment. So I plan to ask my naturopath for more treatment. I wish I could just talk myself out of having this really bad bacteria, but most people need heavy duty antibiotics and then probiotics to finally get rid of all their C-diff spores.
:) Sounds wonderful, Sue. I think limiting Internet leads to a lot more time for other things, too, as you discussed. :) I try to be on when I'm working and then only for up to an hour after that each day. It seems to help. We were in Brownsville for a few days, and it was fun to be almost totally away from computer time. And moving should be plenty for me to do as it is... in the next couple weeks. LOL.
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