Listening for 'Enough'

Yesterday I tried leaving a bite or 2 of food at each meal in order to learn to stop eating when I felt comfortably full or satisfied. However, I can't deny that I sensed my stomach saying 'enough', before I chose to stop eating. I rationalized that I left food, so I must not be overating. Eventually I understood that 'satisfaction' isn't just a nebulous 'lack of hunger, but not full' sensation. I do notice 3 definite 'satisfaction' clues (as I described in my previous post "Irony of Mindful Eating"). I sense 'satisfaction' at almost every meal, but I CHOOSE to continue eating.

This morning I was determined to listen more carefully to my self-talk when I noticed those 'enough food' clues. I prepared for breakfast my usual hot cereal with hazelnut milk, almond butter and 1/2 chopped pear. (That is usually enough or a little more than I need to satisfy hunger.) Since I had not eaten for 14 hours overnight, I THOUGHT I could comfortably eat most of that bowl of cereal. However, I noticed the following clues as I ate:

(1) At first the cereal and pears tasted great, even though I had to eat slowly to let the hot food cool;

(2) Then the cereal didn't taste as good as the pear chunks;

(3) Then I wanted to glance at a grocery store ad laying on the counter. I realized that was a 'sign' and decided to take a break from eating, read the ad and reassess my hunger/satisfaction level before eating the remaining less than half of my cereal;

(4) When I returned to eating, I felt a little desperate to eat more of the cereal, maybe because I sensed I was almost satisfied and I didn't want to stop eating;

(5) After a few more bites, I heard my 2 inner voices, except this time the parent (P) was urging child (C) to keep eating:

P: You need to eat a few more bites. Remember that you intend to walk around the lake before lunch and you don't want to get hungry or low blood sugar symptoms before you get back.

C: I won't say a thing if I get hungry.

P: You know how you need to remove your retainers if you want a snack before lunch.

C: My stomach doesn't feel hungry now. Can I stop eating?

P: You know you have to take HCl capsules before eating any protein snacks.

C: (Staring at cereal left in bowl): That's too much. Do I have to eat all that?

P: OK, one more bite and you can stop.

C: (Swallowing last bite): UGGGGHHHH!

I was absolutely AMAZED to hear my inner child say "Do I have to eat all that?" It seems like my inner child is finally emerging from years of submitting to others' opinions about eating. That was the child who learned to ignore her stomach cues to obey parents who forced her to 'clean her plate. I always wondered why I continued to clean my plate even after I hated how my parents made me sit at the table for hours to finish cold, unappetizing food. Maybe years of dieting and restricting turned that inner child into a rebellious child who didn't want to be restricted from eating when hungry. Fortunately that inner child is finally rebelling against being forced to eat when she feels satisfied.

I threw out about 3 heaping spoonfuls of cereal and feel just fine 2 hours after finishing breakfast. I will take about an hour walk and then see how I feel. Nevertheless I intend to prepare less cereal next time, maybe less almond butter or less pear, but I will honor my inner child's preference to eat 'just enough'.