AAT: External Cues to Eat

In the 'Take Back Your Power' chapter Linda Craighead describes how to take control of decisions to eat when we are challenged by environmental or external (vs. internal stomach sensation) cues to eat. Some of those external cues include: the presence of tempting food, social circumstances which can pressure or obligate us to eat, and packaging and serving sizes of foods which can influence how much we eat. In light of all those external cues, Linda suggests that "each time you start to eat, ask yourself:

Why am I eating right now?
Is it mealtime?
Is it because I'm hungry?
Am I responding to something in my environment, or to people in my environment?
Or, did the desire to eat just pop into my mind?"

"Likwise, each time you stop eating ask yourself:

Am I stopping now because I am moderately full?
Did the serving size or the packaging provide a helpful external signal to stop?
Am I stopping because I think other people might notice if I eat more?"

"You will never become imune to the effects of the environment, but you can shift the balance of power. When you eat without making a conscious decision, it is mindless eating (which is) the easiest kind of eating to give up, because it is not doing that much for you ... Eliminate mindless eating (by) ... making a conscious decision each time you start to eat and (use) moderate fullness as your cue to stop, instead of eating until the food is gone ... you are likely notice that most of the time you stop when you finish whatever was served or there was no more food. Eating this way is fine if you (are) very good at predicting your fullness response. If you know exactly how much (your body needs), serving sizes will help you. However external stop-eating signals are a problem when they do not support your internal appetite signals ... External signals can encourage you to keep eating past moderate fullness even when internal signals tell you to stop."

I am often influenced by how much food is on my plate. I don't want to stop eating until I finish what I served myself. I fear feeling 'deprived' when I consider stopping when I still enjoy the taste of the food, even though my stomach feels full. I try to serve myself a portion that usually satisfies me, but I also leave some foods (like sliced fruit or baby carrots) in a bag or container. So I can easily put away what's left when I begin to feel full. However, focussing only on physical fullness, not psychological satisfaction, decreases those 'deprivation' feelings, especially when I tell myself I can eat that same food at another meal.

Linda also discusses social external influences of overeating:

"People in your environment may not support you in taking charge of your eating ... if you choose to ... eat from within, you may need (to learn about) asserting your rights to regulate your own food intake and to enjoy what you choose." Many people who try to tell you how to eat "will respond very well to empathic assertion".

Linda differentiates ASSERTION or "learning how to effectively get what you want out of a situation" from EMPATHIC ASSERTION or "attempts to get your needs met while maintining the best possible relationship with the person you are dealing with". She suggests 4 steps for 'empathic assertion':

"(1) Make sure you understand your eating rights.

(2) When you make a request, be very speicific about what you need from that person or what you want them to stop doing.

(3) Make sure you understand where the other person is coming from. Instead of getting (or staying) angry, try to find out why they keep doing something that is bothersome to you.

(4) Rehearse what you want to say ahead of time. (Use) the format illustrated in the sample below:

I understand that you only want the best for me but when you ________, I feel _______, and it is harder for me to stay committed to following my own appetite signals. It will help me if you ________.

"If empathic assertion does not work, you may have to resort to stronger versions of assertion (which) include 2 additional components. First express your anger or resentment very explicitly ... Second (if necessary) specify a consequence if the person continues to undermine your efforts."

Linda does not 'recommend strong assertion unless you absolutely have to use it, (because it) can damage a relationship and ... escaleate other conflicts ... with that person. However, at times, strong assertion works amazingly well."

I included Linda's suggestions about empathic assertion, because many people, including myself, believe assertiveness alienates people. So we allow others to influence our eating in social situations and later regret not listening to our internal cues of hunger and moderate fullness. I also tend to use agressive assertion rather than empathic assertion, when I feel threatened by others' suggestions about how or what I eat. Fortunately mentioning that I have 7 food allergies makes even the strongest saboteur pay attention to my desire to decide for myself what and how much to eat.