Mealtime Self-Talk 12/29/08

I described in my previous post about 'rationalizing snacks and high fiber diets' my thoughts when I chose to eat grapes with ginger tea, while standing in the kitchen preparing my 'real' BREAKFAST. Here's my reaction to that breakfast of oatmeal with apples, almond butter and hazelnut milk:

I was soooo glad to eat this meal alone, because my husband returned to work for 3 days this morning. Focussing on my reactions to eating is more difficult when I eat with other people, even my husband to whom I've been married for over 14 years. So posting my mealtime self-talk in this blog has helped me stay more aware of my reactions. I LOVED the oatmeal, how it tasted, the textures of chewy oatmeal, bits of almond and apple, creamy almond butter and hazelnut milk, how it felt in my stomach, and how it satisfied my hunger. I ate very slowly for over 25 minutes with no distractions except a burning advent candle. Hot cooked cereal with fruit is DEFINITELY a whole body pleaser for me. I felt satisfied, but not uncomfortably full after that meal. I can easily see how eating whole body pleaser MEALS, rather than isolated foods which taste good, but don't readily satisfy hunger (like grapes LOL) allow me to feel satisfied and not want any other food for 4-6 hours afterwards. I suspect I crave desserts (or another sweet taste) after meals where I eat too quickly and/or don't eat combinations of foods which are whole body pleasers. However I also suspect enjoying a sweet taste (like one date) after a meal is just a pleasant habit.

For LUNCH I ate a turkey sandwich with my favorite gluten free bread (tastes closer to whole wheat bread than other GF breads), mayonnaise, lettuce and cranberry relish (includes cranberry, orange, apple and walnut bits), 1/2 a small apple and 5-7 black grapes (I lost count) for dessert. Although I brought in the mail and started to look at clothing catalogs while I ate, I immediately remembered how much more I enjoy food when I can focus on tastes and textures without distractions. I remembered I'll have enough distractions when my husband is home from Thursday though Sunday and eats most meals with me. I absolutely LOVED the turkey sandwich and apple slices. That was another whole body pleaser meal. I could actually feel my hunger levels going from VERY hungry to a little hungry to almost satisfied and full, before I ate the grapes for dessert. The grapes took me to absolutely satisfied (after a balanced meal) and comfortably full. (I've already described my experiences with and conclusions about grapes as 'dessert' in previous posts.) I also took about 30 minutes for eat that meal. So my body could register satisfied as well as full. I was amazed that I could actually feel my hunger/satisfaction cues change as I ate. Hopefully I can stay aware of those cues even while engaged in conversation during meals with my husband. At least that's my intention--to make conscious eating second nature after I've practiced conscious eating and journalling my self-talk reactions for awhile.

After 2 very 'conscious eating' meals, I was ready to stop journalling mealtime self-talk after today. However tonight's DINNER was very different, probably because it was very DELAYED. About an hour before I expected my husband home, I felt very hungry, cold and weak (my usual low blood sugar symptoms). So I drank a glass of warm hazelnut milk, which made me feel much better. Unfortunately I then got a call from my husband saying he would be very late, because buses were infrequent today. He got home an hour late. I was STARVED and desperately grabbed 2 cooked brussel sprouts from what I was adding to a chicken stirfry dish for myself. (My husband wanted soup.) Here are my reactions to dinner of chicken/vegie stirfry (not quite 2 cups) and dessert of 1/4 cup of pumpkin ice cream (homemade vegan recipe):

I really enjoyed the chicken stirfry, especially with extra brussel sprouts. Olive oil which I used in preparation gave that dish a very satisfying flavour and mouth feel. That was another 'whole body pleaser' dish. However I didn't fully concentrate on the food, because I was talking to my husband. So I felt satisfied and comfortably full BEFORE I ate the ice cream. I really didn't need ice cream, but I planned to have that dessert and my 'mouth' (not my stomach) craved that taste, maybe because I was too distracted to really enjoy all the stir fry dish. My husband took a couple of spoonfuls of ice cream, I ate about 1/4 cup and put the rest back into the freezer. That didn't seem like very much, but I felt uncomfortably full. I had forgotten how miserable I can feel after eating just a bit too much.

At least I HOPE overeating caused my discomfort. I also accidentally licked the spoon I used to stir my husband's soup which contained some SOY protein (to which I'm allergic). When I checked the label and saw soy, I quickly gargled with water, rather than swallowing. I sure hope I didn't get any soy contamination. My last painful soy reaction lasted 2 weeks. SIGH This is the first time I wanted my discomfort to be caused by overeating, which disappears as my stomach digests the food. Soy contamination symptoms not only don't disappear readily, they get much worse before they get better. I pray I successfully avoided contamination. I'll know for sure by tomorrow morning.

I probably won't post more mealtime self-talk descriptions. This journal topic has become monotonous. Nevertheless, I've learned from the past 3 days that: (1) Focussing on eating (no distractions) allows me to enjoy the food more or quickly realize I didn't choose a 'pleaser'; (2) When I pay attention to my stomach sensations I can feel myself go from hungry to not hungry to satisfied to full and/or beyond full; (3) I can more easily let go or stop at satisfaction when I eat alone and focus on the food; (4) I want to choose 'whole body pleasers' more often than teasers or mere pleasers.