SATURDAY LUNCH:
I ate lunch at a theater while watching "Seven Pounds" (an inspiring movie with a very sad ending). I packed for lunch a peanut butter and peach wrap (in 1/2 brown rice tortilla) and 5 apple slices (about 1/2 apple). My first reaction was: "This Braeburn apple (slice) tastes sooo good. I want to slowly savor every bite." Then I bit the peanut butter and peach wrap and noticed: "The tortilla is a little dry. Maybe I kept it unthawed in the fridge too long. I'm glad the peach is very juicy. The peanut butter is very satisfying. I love how peanut butter, fruit and bread (or tortillas) always make my stomach feel good." As I finished eating lunch, I thought, "I feel just right, not uncomfortably full." I didn't feel hungry enough to eat another meal until 5 hours after lunch.
SATURDAY DINNER:
I chose for dinner a serving (1-1/2 cups) of homemade (frozen and reheated) turkey vegie soup (from our Thanksgiving turkey and LOTS of vegies) and a small piece of gingerbread man cooky (about 1/3). I first ate the broth and thought: "Broth is sooo soothing for my tummy when I'm hungry. When I started to eat the turkey and vegies, I thought: "This is exactly what I needed tonight, no too heavy, but warm and soothing." Then I said to myself (maybe I should call this inner voice 'greed'?): This doesn't look like enough to totally satisfy my hunger. I'm glad I brought that piece of cooky. Oh, and I can also eat a slice of that fresh pineapple which (my husband) chose for his dessert." The another voice (maybe the grateful, saner part of me) said: "Let's just enjoy this soup and see whether it satisfies you." As I ate I noticed: "This soup will be enough. I'm almost full, but I also planned to have that small piece of cooky. Maybe I still have room." Then I remembered the pineapple (was this my 'greedy' voice?) and thought: "I should at least try a bite of the pineapple. Maybe that will taste good, too." However, the first bite of a pineapple spear was rather sour, which I told my husband. He said, "Try a bite off the other end, because that's sweeter." I thought, "Well, it's just a bite, even if I am already full." I noticed "Yes, this is sweeter, but I STILL want my cooky." As I ate about 3 bites (all) of that cooky piece, I realized, "This is what I craved to 'go with' the soup. I wish I hadn't wasted my appetite on pineapple, but I know I didn't have any appetite left when I had the second bite of pineapple. Now I don't feel very well. My stomach is rather acidic. Pineapple is great as dessert after fatty meats or fish, when I need a digestive boost from bromelain in pineapple, but I just didn't need that with bland turkey soup. The pineapple was a 'teaser' in that situation, but the soup and cooky were 'pleasers'."
I observed during dinner 2 different kinds of self talk. One seemed like a 'greedy' voice which initially wanted more than soup and a cooky and later wanted a bite of pineapple, which my body didn't crave, but which my eyes convinced me to 'just try'. The other more gracious voice didn't judge the greedy voice's comments, but suggested I 'eat and see whether the soup satisfied' me. The greedy voice wanted pineapple after I felt satisfied. The gracious voice reminded me that pineapple would feel better after a higher fat meat meal. So I could enjoy pineapple another time, even though it didn't feel good tonight.
I seem to have 2 different self-talk voices: one is the voice of irrational, rebellious greed and the other is the voice of reasonable, gracious gratitude. The greedy voice reminded me of a rebellious, irrational child, while the gracious voice sounded like a loving parent. The gracious voice sounded like 'gratitude' or the voice that is grateful to have 'just enough' rather than always wanting 'more' than my body needs. Maybe in future posts, I'll label the different kinds of self-talk 'greed' and 'gratitude' and describe my mealtime self-talk as a conversation between the 2 voices. Before listening to and describing my mealtime self-talk, I thought I only had one voice which urged me to overeat. After describing what I heard, I realize I DO have a voice of reason guiding my choices of what and how much to eat. Maybe that's the Holy Spirit within me, guiding me to honor and cherish my body with loving, grateful eating choices, rather than greedy, rebellious eating choices. I intend, when I prepare my meal, to listen more carefully to the grateful voice which considers how little I need to feel satisfied, rather than the greedy voice which considers how much I can eat (stuff into my mouth?) before I feel uncomfortably full.
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2 comments:
Very interesting insights. I'd say that "gratitude" is the Holy Spirit guiding and directing you. You are definitely being very present and conscious as you eat. I need to apply this to my own eating more effectively.
Thanks, Christina. After struggling for too long with stopping at satisfaction, I started listening to what I told myself when I felt satisfied. Now I want to learn to 'talk back' to the voice that tells me to keep eating. Journalling what I hear may help me listen to and obey the Holy Spirit's guidance.
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