Legalizing Childhood Foods

When I began using IE principles 8 years ago, I legalized many foods I previously restricted according to calories or 'unhealthy eating' rules. Most of those foods were desserts or sweet treats. I recall that my mom restricted me from eating sweet foods when I was very young. She believed I was 'getting fat' because I had a bloated (celiac) tummy.

However, my brother and father also teased me about eating starchy foods like breads and potatoes. During the 50s starchy foods were considered 'fattening', rather than fats per se. Maybe fats like butter, etc. were still used as condiments or just totally overlooked as a source of extra calories. Nevertheless, I grew up believing that breads and potatoes were 'fattening' and restricted those when I began dieting during college.

Despite believing that I could eat all foods within hunger/fullness boundaries, I hesitated to eat white potatoes. I knew I loved bread and searched diligently for wheat bread substitutes after my CD diagnosis. Yet I continued to believe that potatoes were a waste of my appetite (calories?) and prefered yams or sweet potatoes. When I was diagnosed with CD I learned to love brown and wild rice varieties. I also tried and loved quinoa and amarath. Yet I continued to avoid corn (except on the cob), peas (except snap peas on salad) and potatoes (except potato salad), which my mom frequently prepared for family dinners.

Recently I began to prefer different kinds of potatoes with certain foods. For instance, I like red potatoes with pork or chicken, yukon gold potatoes with white fish (like basa), russet potatoes only as French fries, but sweet potatoes with anything except beef. As I prepared Yukon gold potatoes for our fish dinner tonight, I realized that I continued to 'restrict' potatoes, after I legalized dessert foods which are less satisfying than potatoes.

After my very satisfying dinner, I recognized that I restricted the vegies that my mother served so often, because I wanted to forget my painful childhood memories and all the foods I associated with traumatic childhood dinners. I STILL don't like mashed potatoes, which my mom often served. However, I LOVE potato salad which she often took to my aunt's house when my aunt bar-be-qued chicken. I associated potato salad with eating with my aunt, uncle and cousins, who all loved me.

Now I wonder what other nutritious, satisfying foods I avoid, because they remind me of my childhood. Maybe I like yukon gold and red potatoes because my mom never served those and my brother and dad never told me I'd get fat from eating those kinds of potatoes. I don't have many pleasant memories of family dinners. I only miss my mom's potato salad. I could certainly make that now, but I can't have the hard boiled sliced eggs (because of egg allergy), which were an integral part of her recipe. Although my mom made my favorite potato salad, I'll still remember my aunt everytime I eat potato salad.

Nevertheless, I plan to reexamine the 'potato' cookbook my husband bought me several years ago. He probably thought buying me a cookbook would make me prepare potatoes more often. Little did he know potatoes triggered painful emotional memories for me. I never knew what I missed by linking painful childhood memories with potentially satisfying foods.