If I Never Again Purged

This topic naturally follows my previous post "If I Never Again Binged", because I seldom binge without purging. So I did the same exercise which I described in that post, substituting the word 'purged' for binged. Here's what I discovered:

IF I NEVER AGAIN PURGED, I WOULD MISS:

BINGEING!!!!!!! (duuuhhh ... I only purge after bingeing)

Relief from guilt about overeating and/or bingeing;

Relief from fears about weight gain from overeating (I irrationally tell myself that purging will 'get rid of' most of the binge food calories);

Relief from discomfort after overeating;

Relief from discomfort after bingeing;

Deceiving myself that bingeing doesn't matter;

Temporary relief from digestive pain;

The fantasy that my life and physical health will be great after I stop purging;

A convenient excuse for longterm digestive problems;

Working toward a lifelong goal of normal eating without bingeing or purging.

(I'll add more items as those occur to me.)

Those answers suggest that I believe purging offers relief, especially relief from physical discomfort of bingeing, but also relief from guilt about any amount of overeating. Like bingeing, purging offers a convenient explanation for my ongoing gastrointestinal symptoms. Purging DOES exacerbate some of those symptoms. However 3-6 month periods of abstinence from purging does not eliminate those symptoms. Nevertheless, like bingeing, I believe purging offers relief from painful emotions. If I never again purged, I would be forced to acknowledge and cope with negative emotions, as well as challenge beliefs which trigger those emotions.

I have previously confronted how I cope with negative emotions. After reading Karen Koenig's "Food and Feelings Workbook", my binge/purge episodes went from average 1-2 each month to once every 3 months. Nevertheless, 'once every three months' seems like I'm using binge/purge episodes for relief from pent up emotions which I have not acknowledged. Understanding my common schemas (maladaptive mindsets of negative thoughts and feelings) can help me more easily recognize and cope with negative emotions. How WOULD my life be if I never again purged?