Changing Beliefs, Changing Habits Part 1

As I reviewed my 'binge' history on my calendar, I saw months when my total episodes decreased or increased. During the year my total episodes decreased by more than 50%I learned to trust my body to tell me when and how much to eat. During a later year I realized that my body had also told me WHAT to eat with painful symptoms. A few years later I learned to resist binges by acknowledging and coping with negative feelings. Later I realized I put myself into situations or volunteered for roles which triggered long unresolved childhood beliefs.

I now recognize that each time I decreased my binge frequency, I confronted and changed my basic beliefs about myself (including my body), life and relationships. So I will list in this post the irrational beliefs (many are food or eating beliefs)which influenced my binge/purge habits. In order to change those habits, I acknowledged, challenged and changed those beliefs. In a later post, I will also list the more rational beliefs (RB) which replaced my irrational beliefs. Here are irrational beliefs which influenced my binge/purge habits for many years:

I must avoid eating certain foods in order to lose weight and/or maintain my ideal weight. (A related, but nonfood belief follows:)

I must exercise every day if I don't want to regain all the weight I lost (at age 20).

Eating certain foods will make me binge.

I must avoid snacking between meals, because snacks always turn into binges.

If I eat too much while snacking, I might just as well binge to get rid of any tempting foods so I won't snack again.

Once I start overeating, I might just as well binge (the 'oh what the heck' response) and get it over with.

I can't keep my 'binge foods' in the house, because I will always overeat or binge eat them.

Once I start overeating, I might just as well binge (the 'oh what the heck' response) and get it over with.

I must eat low calorie foods to compensate for regular binges during which I eat waaay too many calories.

I binge, because I am bulimic.(I replaced that with the next belief.)

I binge because I have food allergies (which I believed until I started bingeing on my 'safe' or nonallergenic foods).

Once I start bingeing I can't stop until I binge enough to purge.

Purging will eliminate the 'binge' calories.

If I feel uncomfortable from indigestion or nausea (after eating a moderate amount of food), I might just as well binge so I can purge and 'get rid of' whatever caused the nausea or stop digestive pain.

Purging won't hurt me as much as bingeing without purging.

Bingeing and purging are shameful habits, which I must never reveal.

Bingeing and purging cause my painful gastrointestinal symptoms.

AFTER I LEARNED TO EAT ONLY WHEN I WAS PHYSICALLY HUNGRY AND STOP EATING WHEN I FELT SATISFIED, THE FOLLOWING BELIEFS MADE ME RESIST STOPPING WHEN I FELT 'SATISFIED':

If I stop eating when I feel 'satisfied' or comfortably full, I will feel 'deprived', esp. if I don't eat dessert, which will make me binge later.

If I stop eating when I feel 'satisfied' or comfortably full, I will get hungry between meals, start snacking and then binge. (The next belief is similar:)

If I snack between meals, I won't feel hungry for a scheduled meal with my husband. So I will eat when I'm not hungry, which will make me overeat at that meal.

If I stop eating when I feel satisfied or comfortably full, I will get low blood sugar symptoms before the next meal, feel desperate to eat and either binge or overeat at the next meal.

AFTER I LEARNED THAT I BINGED TO COPE WITH PAINFUL EMOTIONS, I BELIEVED:

I can't control how I react to events of my life--stress happens.

I can't control when I binge, because I can't control what will happen to me.

I can resist bingeing if I only experience a couple of stressful situations, but I will always binge when I feel overwhelmed by physical pain and emotional stress.

I MAY HAVE FORGOTTEN A FEW OF MY IRRATIONAL BELIEFS, BUT WILL ADD THEM AS I REMEMBER.

My next post will list the corresponding 'rational' or logical beliefs with which I replaced the irrational beliefs listed in this post.