Beliefs, Habits, Pleasure or Avoidance?

My post about "Leave Food, Feel Deprived?" on the Food & Feelings board started a lengthy discussion thread. So Karen Koenig (moderator of the board and author of "The Rules of Normal Eating") suggested the following:

"There are a variety reasons you may have difficulty stopping eating when you're full or satisfied. One is deprivation beliefs and you can counter them by writing them out and reframing them, then saying them three times a day aloud in front of a mirror until your mindset and behaviors change. It's a good idea to continue reminding yourself of these reframed beliefs occasionally, lest old thinking creep back in. Another reason you may not want to stop eating is plain old habit and how your neural pathways are programmed, especially if you're not paying attention. A third reason is that food tastes delicious and is a sensory pleasure. Remember, some foods actually trigger dopamine (the feel good neurotransmitter) in the brain. A fourth reason is that you are uncomfortable with an emotion that arises or returns while you're eating and don't want to feel it."

I totally relate to all those 'reasons'. I eat beyond 'full' because (1) I fear feeling deprived; (2) I mindlessly lapse into old habits; (3) I enjoy tasting delicious food (and don't look forward to other pleasures?); and (4)I want to avoid or procrastinate experiencing a feeling. After stopping at 'just enough' for 7 meals, I ate beyond full at 2 meals today. Here are my reasons for eating past full at those 2 meals:

(1) Fear of Deprivation and (2) Mindless Habits: During dinner tonight my husband and I excitedly shared how we spent our separate days. I described my gardening project. He talked referring a coworker with food allergy symptoms to our naturopath to get an ELISA allergy test. I didn't savor every bite. I often swallowed after barely chewing the food so I could keep talking. I ate rather mindlessly. However, when I noticed my husband had finished his meal, I still had at least 3 more bites on my plate. I was NOT still hungry. I had probably reached my 'just enough' point. However I did NOT want to stop eating just because he was finished. I lapsed back into thinking "I deserve what I put on my plate" and "Just because he ate too fast doesn't mean I have to stop eating now". (He was looking at me, because he no longer had to look at his food.) I felt pressure to stop eating, but rebelliously continued to eat in order to avoid feeling 'deprived' of food which "I deserved to eat".

I suspect those 2 'reasons' often occur together, because when I don't focus on the food, I can reach physical fullness without feeling emotionally satisfied by the food. I feel as though someone else stuffed the food directly into my stomach without giving me a chance to taste, chew and enjoy the food. Unfortunately that 'someone' was ME. When I'm distracted by tv, reading or even conversation, I can feel deprived of enjoying the food, when I realize I'm full. So I want to at least 'taste' what's left on my plate, after I stop and notice I'm full. However, those last few bites won't taste as good as they would taste when I am hungry. So continuing to eat won't prevent deprivation of eating enjoyment. The moment has already passed. I already reached the point of no return with taste enjoyment of anything except extremely sweet foods (like desserts).

Next time I try to eat AND talk during a meal, I will ask questions before I take a bite, then enjoy that bite and not share my opinion until I've enjoyed at least a few bites of food. If my husband asks me a question, I'll just point to my full mouth and wave him away. After I swallow, I'll tell him I don't want to miss the taste of the food and want to just eat now. However I will continue the conversation after the meal.

(3) Sensual Pleasure from Food and (4) Avoiding Unpleasant Feelings could also occur together. If I plan an unpleasant or even challenging activity AFTER the meal, I may want to continue enjoying the food, to avoid experiencing whatever I feel when I do the unpleasant activity. That combination of reasons explains why I ate past 'just enough' at lunch today. I planned to walk to the mall to shop after lunch. Normally I enjoy shopping. However I was tired after a morning of gardening. Also I was not looking forward to colder weather this afternoon. I actually ate just enough for lunch. Yet after lunch I noticed an open jar of a new brand of peanut butter and decided I wanted just a taste 'for dessert' or whatever rationalization I used to eat several fingerfuls of peanut butter after I consumed a satisfying lunch. Because my tastebuds were rather desensitized by my 'fullness', the peanut butter did not taste that great. Nevertheless, I procrastinated going for my walk for a few minutes.

Ironically, the brisk weather energized me once I began my walk. Initilly I felt guilty about overeating after a satisfying lunch. Then I felt 'bored' as I tried to avoid my 'guilty' feelings. However, like most walks when I feel tired, I felt more energetic after I began the walk. Although I usually choose to walk in the morning, when I'm more energetic, I can also remind myself, when I feel tired, that I feel more energetic after I start the walk.

As for choosing to overeat to prolong the sensory pleasure of eating, I need only remember that food doesn't taste as good when I'm no longer hungry. 'Desserts' are purposely intensely sweet foods, because people can only taste intense flavors after they eat enough to satisfy hunger. Most people eat sweets and/or desserts after they have finished a satisfying meal. Since I have been stopping at 'just enough' I no longer desire a dessert. Ironically I used to want to keep eating when I felt full. Now I realize more food is just going to make me more uncomfortable. So I now stop either at 'just enough' or the first sign of 'discomfort'.

My 2 recent lapses into eating beyond full remind me that I need to commit before starting a meal that I will focus on my stomach cues as well as the tastes of the food. Then I can slowly observe my 'hunger' turning to 'not hungry' to 'just enough' to 'satisfied' to 'comfortably full'. So I can stop BEFORE obviously or painfully full.