Changing Beliefs, Changing Habits Part 4

In this post I will list my irrational beliefs about purging and bingeing followed by purging and then describe how I replaced those beliefs:

IB Once I start bingeing I can't stop until I binge enough to purge.

After I honestly admitted that I chose to binge eat, I realized I could choose to shorten a binge and eventually reduce binges to overeating or large snacks. So my new belief became: Even after I choose to binge, every bite is a new decision point, when I can stop eating, put the food away, and do something else.

IB Purging will eliminate the 'binge' calories.

When I tracked my binge/purge episodes and weight, I observed that months when I frequently binged, I also weighed more. Then I read that by the time I purged, I had already digested most of the simple sugar calories, from my mostly sweet binge foods. I only purged fiber, fats and protein which could keep me unhungry longer and prevent another binge. So my new belief became: Purging may eliminate a few calories, but not enough to escape weight related consequences of binges.

IB If I feel uncomfortable from indigestion or nausea (after eating a moderate amount of food), I might just as well binge so I can purge and 'get rid of' whatever caused the nausea or stop digestive pain.

I learned that celiac disease and food allergy reactions occur in the small intestine, which purging doesn't affect. By the time I sense painful reactions, the problem food is in my intestine. Rather than try to stop the digestive process with purging, I could more effectively treat the pain with herbal teas, exercise or heating pads. So my new belief became: Purging may empty stomach contents, but vomiting doesn't affect celiac or food allergy reaction which cause pain in the intestines.

IB Purging won't hurt me as much as bingeing without purging.

es and dehydrated my body, which caused constipation. Above all, allowing myself to purge gave me permission to binge. So my new belief became: Purging is as physically harmful as bingeing, but even worse because it gives me permission to binge.

Bingeing and purging are shameful habits, which I must never reveal.

The longer I hid those habits from others, the more ashamed I felt. When I shared my experiences with others who used those habits, I felt less shame. Eventually I learned that by bingeing and purging I was doing "the best I could with what I knew at the time". As I searched for answers and talked to others, I learned more and made better choices. So my new belief became: Bingeing and purging are merely ineffective coping habits, which when shared, can be explored and resolved.

Bingeing and purging cause my painful gastrointestinal symptoms.

For many years that belief discouraged me from revealing painful gut symptoms to my doctor. Unfortunately when I told my doctor about my habits, she only asked if I saw a therapist. Likewise, when I told my therapist about my painful gut symptoms, she told me to see my doctor. Neither wanted to talk about my gut symptoms. When I found a doctor who listened to my gut symptoms, she dismissed those as 'ibs', which I later learned was a catch-all diagnosis for gut symptoms which docs couldn't explain. Years later, I learned I had celiac disease, food allergies and bacterial dysbiosis (excessive bad bacteria and a parasite in my intestines). Those conditions were related more to heredity (I have the CD gene) and using doctor prescribed antiacid drugs. So my new belief became: Although bingeing and purging can cause some uncomfortable symptoms, celiac disease, food alleries, bacterial dysbiosis and hypochlorida (low stomach acid) caused my excruciating gut symptoms.

Because bingeing and purging were my most 'disordered' eating habits for many years, replacing my beliefs about those habits and considering exceptional times, when I binged and purged less often helped me decrease my disordered eating episodes. Now I focus on eliminating overeating by increasing the times I stop eating when I feel satisfied or comfortably full.