Years ago, before I was diagnosed with celiac diseease, food allergies and other digestive problems, I attended a support group for people who were addicted to food. In order to control the addiction, we had to eat a certain way, attend meetings and call another member, when we were tempted to overeat or eat a forbidden food. Now that I understand my symptoms were caused by physical disease and allergies, I can't believe I was ever 'addicted' to food. I need to eat to live. I may undereat or overeat at times, but I basically eat to feed my body.
However, I do use other substances in amounts that may seem excessive to healthy, normal people. No, I'm not talking about drugs. I'm talking about fabric, specifically crafted into garments. My husband tells me that we want excessive amounts of whatever we felt deprived of as small children.
I was rather deprived of edible treats when I was a child. My mom took one look at my bloated (undiagnosed celiac) belly and decided I was getting too fat. She didn't seem to notice the rest of my body parts were normal sizes. Nevertheless she began restricting sweets so that I wouldn't get 'fatter'. Moreover, my mom often used my shape as a reason to not buy new clothes for me. She would often say "I will buy you new (nicer) clothes, when you are thin."
Because of early food restriction, I grew up wanting lots of sweets and pastries until I learned that I was allergic to gluten, dairy, soy, eggs, cane sugar, vanilla and nutmeg. However after finding safe substitutes for all those foods/ingredients, I now bake my own pastries and treats. I like to include sweets with every meal. Fortunately I now have normal metabolism and I like other healthier foods (fruits, vegies, etc.).
However, my childhood clothing restriction influenced my love affair (addiction?) with clothes, which began when I realized I really was 'thin'. I was never 'thin' enough for my mom to buy me fashionable clothes. So I wore really dowdy, unflattering clothes during high school. During my college days, I began to buy my own clothes without my mom's advice or money. Because I've stayed in the same weight range most of the time since my early 20s, I still have garments I purchased years ago. I altered some clothes when I was very bloated with undiagnosed celiac disease 15 years ago. So I had to give those away after I recovered and resumed a normal body shape. However I still have a few clothes (jeans, skirts, jackets, and shoes) which I wore during my 20s.
When I quit painting and marketing watercolor paintings (10? years ago), I started sewing. I literally taught myself to sew, just as I taught myself to paint, but for different reasons. I didn't NEED paintings. So I sold them and supported myself with my painting business. I NEEDED clothes ... sewing allowed me to have more clothes inexpensively and to alter store bought garments to fit my body even better.
Even now, when many women my age wear dowdy clothes and unflattering hairstyles, I make fashionable clothes, when I'm not buying what I like at H&M (my alltime favorite store), Loft Petites, Express, Nordstrom TBD, and occasionally Wet Seal (which I first discovered in Maui) or Forever 21. However, I prefer to sew simple styles (skirts, peasant blouses, sleeveless or short sleeved tops, shorts), which I can make for less than I would spend at a store.
My husband always knows what to get me for Christmas, birthday, any 'giftable' occasion. Often we spend my birthday 'shopping'. So he doesn't need to buy and wrap anything before my birthday. I also enjoy the 'chase' for the perfect item, but I sometimes go home empty handed.
Do I have enough clothes now? Well, actually I go through my closets annually to give away garments which I don't want to alter to fit better or clothes which are too worn or never flattering (what was I thinking?). If I don't get rid of clothes by giving them away or selling them in consignment shops, I don't have room in my closet for new items.
Currently I'm altering garments which I haven't worn for a year or so, but still like. Also I alter any garment that doesn't fit well, but I like the color or style. I almost like alterations even better than sewing a completely new garment. I alter garments which I already love and can easily coordinate with other items in my wardrobe. Finding old garments and altering them is like buying a new garment for free. Also I'm satisfied by the work I did to make the garment fit better.
Am I addicted to clothes? I sometimes wonder whether I'm addicted to shopping. However, I don't shop just to entertain myself. I usually have a goal garment or accessory, which I 'need'. Shopping also gives me ideas for garments to sew and save money. However, after awhile I feel 'shopped' out and want to go home and sew or bake cookies! LOL
I suspect my honesty is opening up a whole closet of opinions out there. I look forward to your responses.
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11 comments:
I loved reading your story about the crows and your passion for sewing and altering clothes to fit your body in a flattering way. Now I understand that passion of your a lot more. I think you sound like you have a healthy "addiction" to shopping/sewing/altering clothes. You seem very sensible about spending on clothes and I think it's great. The word "addiction" has a negative connotation in my mind, so I see this more as a hobby or like I said... your passion! I loved reading your thoughts and having the glimpse of the things you enjoy doing.
I like the analysis explaining why you feel drawn to clothing, and it's nice to see that even though you had negative experiences in your upbringing that shaped your beliefs you turned it around into something positive, healthy, and inspiring.
You're right. Clothes, sewing and shopping for clothes, are really passions. I usually shop wisely and can sometimes get pants, dresses or sweaters for $10-15 at H&M (my favorite store because of their great sales).
I was using the word 'addiction' in a humorous way. That word is overused these days. People say they are 'addicted' to anything they don't want to take responsibility for doing more moderately. My other 'addiction' is anything penguin. I will blog about that later.
I'm glad you liked my 2 last posts. Those reveal what I do and think about between doctor appointments. lol
You're absolutely right, people do throw around the word "addiction" so often and it does sound like they use it in a way to avoid taking responsibility of their actions, because a serious addiction is something that becomes out of our control.
I like H&M too, I went in that store for the first time two summers ago. I was shocked at how affordable most of the clothes were, before I never went in there because I thought it was a pricey store. I've changed my style a little, wanting to be more feminine and feeling confident enough to dress in more clothes and better fitting clothes. I think they have a lot of selections, though it depends on the season because sometimes I went there and they had so many pretty clothes I was overwhelmed and other times I couldn't find anything I liked at all. Also, it seems my size is often the one sold out, in that store my size in blouses is an 8.
I always think of you when I see anything related to penguins. A few days ago I saw a masking tape with patterns of penguins and I thought of you. I wanted to find something to tape over the cover of a big journal I bought, it has the words "Stay Calm Carry On" printed on the front and I don't like it. But for now I'll leave it alone, maybe later in the future I'll come across something I like that sticks that I can attach to the cover.
I meant to say, in more colorful clothes
I agree with what she said. Very often, we end up "overcompensating" for something we were deprived of growing up, but it doesn't always mean that it's truly an addiction.
To me, an addiction interferes with your life and with you staying healthy.
Your shopping and sewing obviously does NOT do that.
And yes, the crow story was awesome; it gave me some really funny mental pictures.
Hmmm ... overcompensating sounds like a bad thing. I really was using the word 'addiction' facetiously, because that word is soooooo overused in this 'therapeutic' age. Did you ever watch the TLC show about people's strange eating 'addictions'? Addicted to eating cornstarch??? I prefer cornstarch based pudding myself ... or even stir fry sauce thickened with cornstarch. I really wonder if therapists consider habits 'addictions', just as the drug company invents 'diseases' so they can sell their drugs as treatments for those disease sounding conditions? I've read several books about out overmedicated society. That's not my original idea.
About H&M ... I agree with your seasonal observation. Sometimes I hit the beginning of sales, when they still have lots of sizes (including the lower sizes which I wear). After awhile everything gets picked over and the least popular sizes are still there. I notice that in every store. However H&M always has some sale items, which make shopping for bargains interesting. Sometimes I just can't wait or risk not getting an item. So I end up buying it full price. However, H&M's full price items are cheaper than Nordstrom's best sale or Rack prices.
Hi Deanna: I like what you said about "overcompensating." I think in Sue's example that's not fully accurate, because her passion for clothes is no longer fueled by the pain of the past. Meaning, buying and creating beautiful clothes is not done to spite her mom who used to limit her choices when she was a child.
I think when we develop addictions that truly take over our lives in an unhealthy way, it's a desperate attempt to soother ourselves because we use that "addiction" to spite something else that is not working in our lives the way we want (or as a lot of literature and research suggests, people with eating disorders feel their lives are out of control and how and what they eat is something very personal that they feel they can control... granted in very unhealthy and irrational, damaging ways.)
Sue! I know the show you are talking about, I've seen a bunch of those episodes on YouTube. Because of my past struggles with food and body image, shows and literature about that subject intrigue me.
About clothes, I really like blouses now, or sweaters with detailing like embroidery or buttons or my favorite are the puffy shoulders that are created with extra fabric on the edges.
It's hard to wear girly outfits, with skirts, because I only have about three pairs of dress shoes and have a hard time finding any girly shoes (not even flats) because I have wide feet.
During the winter or on rainy days, I wear feminine tops (blouses, sweaters and knit tops) with jeans and occasionally nicer pants. I like the contrast of feminine and casual/tough that jeans and feminie tops give me.
You may need to look for shoes at Nordstrom. They cater to different sizes. I used to buy AA shoes there, before my feet spread after years of wearing running shoes. I know they have very fashionable shoes in wider sizes.
Yeah, they are more expensive, but with care, their shoes last. I have Nordstrom suede loafers and dressy Mary Jane pumps which I bought and wore during the early 80s I still wear the loafers regularly, but get heel plates, because I wear the heals down more quickly than anyplae else.Nordstrom also has great sales on shoes a few times a year.
Hi, just wanted to tell you, I enjoyed this post. It was
practical. Keep on posting!
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