Insights from ThinWithin Review

As I review my old ThinWithin (TW) workbooks, I understand how I went from trusting 'the spirit' (God's guidance) for my eating choices (what, when, how much) to trusting the 'law' (food allergy info) for those choices. After my CD and food allergy diagnoses, I believed I could eat any 'safe' (nonallergenic) foods in unlimited amounts, with no regard for hunger and/or satisfaction. I still had some malabsorption problems and gastrointestinal pain from bacterial imbalances and a still undetected parasite. So I couldn't eat much without experiencing pain. Yet I chose to believe that I didn't have to worry about eating past satisfaction, because I couldn't trust my impaired digestive process. I thought I felt full only because I had digestive problems. I wanted to believe that I could overeat and not gain weight, because I didn't digest food very well.

Now I realize that during that time I often underate, because my stomach hurt after eating. I heard many other celiacs say they could eat so much food without gaining weight, because of 'malabsorption'. However I also met overweight celiacs who could not overeat without weight gain. Eventually I realized the weight control factor was PAIN, not malabsorption. Even the overweight celiacs had malabsorption symptoms, from not getting enough of certain nutrients. Nevertheless they STILL absorbed enough CALORIES to maintain excess weight. Only celiacs (like me) who suffered constant gastrointestinal pain stayed thin, because they actually ate much less or less often to avoid pain.

However, as I eliminated each of my food allergens, resolved bacterial imbalances and eventually treated (killed) the parasite, my gut pain almost disappeared. Yet I still didn't feel well after eating, until I recognized and began to resolve digestive issues caused by hypochloridia (low stomach acid). Later I realized overeating contributed to reflux as much as foods which relaxed the lower esophogeal valve. So how I eat (beyond satisfaction) influenced reflux as much as WHAT I ate. Again I could not rely on the 'law' (a list of safe foods) to prevent digestive problems. I needed to listen to spirit which guided when and how much I ate through my hunger/satisfaction sensations.

I didn't exactly return to 'dieting' to control my weight or maintain a healthy body, but I did trust lists of safe foods (to avoid allergy reactions and reflux) to protect me from gastrointestinal pain. That's similar to trusting weight loss diet laws to guide my eating behavior, rather than trusting physical sensations of hunger, satisfaction and how I felt after eating certain foods to guide my eating decisions. Granted, I had MANY (7) food allergies and needed to know which foods contained those allergens. So allergen information helped me understand which foods caused discomfort after meals. However, I chose to ignore physical sensations of hunger, satisfaction and reactions to other 'safe' (nonallergen) foods, while I trusted that avoiding food allergens was enough to keep me healthy and comfortable. Rather than trust or even seek God's guidance, I trusted food allergy tests and research to tell me what to eat and often ignored my physical sensations about when and how much to eat. I even felt angry with God, because he didn't reveal the source of my gastrointestinal pain sooner. I was angry that He let me suffer so long. That anger turned me away from ThinWithin and toward celiac support groups.