Never Hungry, Always Nauseas

After taking Flagyl to treat Clostridium D. for one week (2 pills 3x daily with meals), I've changed how I approach meals. I almost never feel hungry. However, after 4-5 hours, when I usually feel hungry, I feel incredibly nauseas. At first I did NOT want to eat with that nausea. Then I learned that eating actually decreased the nausea. I also had to eat to protect my stomach from damage from flagyl. I saw meals as a catch 22. If I didn't eat, I'd feel so nauseas that I might throw up. If I did eat a meal, I had to take the flagyl after the meal and start the increasing nausea cycle all over. Nevertheless, I kept reminding myself that I wanted to get well, to be well when I'm in Maui this October, and to kill that potentially fatal bug (clostridium difficile) in my gut which caused all those flu like symptoms for 2 months before I started treating with flagyl.

Flagyl causes a horrible metallic taste. I tried taking those pills in the middle of one salad meal. Every bite of salad thereafter tasted like metal. So I take the pills after I eat a meal to prevent ruining the taste of the meal. The nausea and gut pain starts immediately after I take the pills. Those symptoms peak (get most intense) 1-1/2 to 2 hours afterwards. However the nausea never goes away. I initiallly drank a lot of ginger tea, which greatly decreases the nausea. I still noticed nausea, but don't worry that I'm going to throw up all the time. Then I got so sick of the metallic taste of ginger tea with stevia (and reflux possibly caused by ginger tea) that I stopped drinking it. However extreme fatigue and nausea today motivates me to try more ginger tea tonight. If I can't control this nausea, I don't know how I'll survive the next 2 days of flagyl. Going to bed doesn't help relieve nausea. I actually get worse as I reflux even more.

Here are some other 'fun' side effects within an hour after taking flagyl: A stabbing pain in my stomach for awhile; a slight headache, almost no hunger sensations so I only eat by the clock or when the nausea gets so bad that I have to eat something; cramping gut pains that feel like I might get diarrhea (fortunately I prevented actual diarrhea by taking a daily probiotic), refluxing that horrible metallic taste PLUS stomach acid. Maybe that was from drinking so much ginger tea to decrease nausea. Did I mention the nausea?? LOL

Despite all those awful side effects I've managed to eat 3 meals daily (in order to take the flagyl with meals) plus my morning glass of apple juice. I don't take the flagyl with juice, but the juice stops the nausea, gets rid of the horrible taste from either the flagyl or last night's poorly digested dinner and raises my blood sugar enough to wash my face and get dressed, rather than sit in front of this computer all morning.

During the past week while experiencing all those side effects, my food cravings dramatically changed. I actually craved fatty ground meat. So we had ground lamb patties one night. Then I craved FRENCH FRIES! I NEVER crave white potatoes, but do enjoy sweet potatoes. Last night I prepared for dinner, basa (fish) poached on a bed of sweet onions with garden fresh dill, oven fries (less oil and less chance of grease burning the cook), and coleslaw with pineapple. If I could find an allergy free fish stick product, I might have eaten that. (Unfortunately, Ian's fish sticks added cane sugar to their ingredients, which precludes me eating those now.) Tonight we're eating leftovers from our fish dinner. Right now I'm craving french fries so strongly I can taste and feel them in my stomach. Of course my meat and potatoes husband LOVES my new cravings. I don't know whether these cravings will continue after I finish the flagyl (6 more doses to go). However, I'm fantasizing about going to Outback for a steak and baked potato dinner in the very near future. As soon as I tell my husband, I know he will say, "Let's go tonight!" LOL

I really miss hunger cues. Before flagyl I relied on those to tell me when to eat (when I felt hungry) and how much to eat (enough to take away the hunger). Now I can only rely on intense nausea and a little full feeling in my stomach. I regret eating past full, because that causes burning reflux with the metallic taste and even more extreme nausea and discomfort. Before flagyl I often feared getting hungry (because I thought that meant low blood sugar). Now I look forward to feeling normal hunger again. It's difficult for me to eat only when I'm hungry and stop eating when I no longer feel hungry if all I feel is nausea.

However, I've noticed the nausea cue seems to work the same way hunger used to work. When I eat, the nausea goes away. The absence of nausea plus body comfort tells me I've eaten enough. However I always have one more bite of something (especially something sweet like ice cream) after I take the flagyl to mask that horrible taste. Fortunately I can stop after one spoonful of ice cream, because more will make me feel uncomfortable. I savor those times before flagyl hits peak intensity in my blood (and makes me nauseas) and when flagyl intensity decreases enough to let me feel normal before I have to eat another meal, because of nausea, and take another @#$%^& flagyl dose.

Metronidazole Side Effects

Late Monday afternoon my naturopath finally called into my local HMO pharmacy a prescription for metronidazole (flagyl) to kill the clostridium difficile critters. So I started taking 2 tablets 3 times a day for the next 10 days. Common side effects are similar to symptoms of clostridium d; (nausea, stomach pain, headache, vomitting, plus a few more which I haven't yet experienced). Well actually I haven't yet vomitted. However, I'm here typing this comment at 2 am because I feel so nauseas that I thought sitting up would prevent me from vomitting right now. I don't know how long I can fight off this nausea, before I start throwing up, which usually turns into hours of dry heaves.

Usually the side effects peak 1-2 hours after taking flagyl and then subside. However, tonight another common side effect, stuffy nose made breathing so difficult that I woke up after 2-1/2 hours of sleep. Then I realized I was so nauseated that I might vomit if I didn't get up. Now I seriously doubt that I'll go back to bed without throwing up.

I've read studies that suggest taking milk thistle can reduce the possibility of liver damage from flagyl (another nasty side effect). So I emailed my naturopath to ask whether I should take milk thistle while I took flagyl. (Unfortunately, milk thistle also causes side effects of nausea and stomach upset.) My doctor replied: "Milk thistle is a nice herb which also protects liver. You don't need it, but it won't hurt to take it." That reply was not helpful, especially the "you don't need it but ..." part. Of course this is the same naturopath who asked me whether stress might cause my symptoms and recommended I get talk therapy, accupuncture or massage for my symptoms, which were later diagnosed as Clostridium difficile, a pathogenic (occasionally fatal) bacteria. I lost confidence in my doctor.

I also worry that flagyl will cause even more severe side effects, like constipation or, even worse, liver damage. If my nausea is this bad after only 4 doses, will my side effects increase in severity during the next 26 doses? I also wonder whether milk thistle will just cause more nausea, gut pain and vomiting, even if it protects my liver from flagyl damage?

OOPS!! I couldn't resist the nausea any longer. I guess my body knows better than I how to relieve the nausea. At least that didn't turn into dry heaves. Maybe I can finally go back to sleep now.

DNA Microbial Test Results

Yesterday I received the results of my last DNA Microbial (stool) Test. I requested by phone that my doctor's office email the results to me, because I knew my doc would be out of the office at a GIG conference until Monday. The results explained why I suffered flu-like symptoms for the past month or so. I have a high amount of a pathogenic bacteria (Clostrium difficile) and another parasite described as 'taxonomy unavailable'. The results say "A taxonomy unavilable finding indicates an ingested protazoan and not a human parasite. It does not indicate treatment unless patient symptoms and other inflammatory markers are consistent with parasitic infection." We'll see how my doctor interprets that.

When I emailed my doctor almost 2 months ago about my symptoms, he said he had run out of ideas (about causes?) and suggested I see either an eating disorder specialist, a massage therapist or an accupuncture therapist for 'stress'. Almost a year ago I was diagnosed with a bad parasite (cryptospordium) after my doctor previously recommended I visit a 'tummy temple' therapist for my gut pain which was actually caused by the parasitic infection. So I'm rather frustrated that my doctor discounted my symptoms AGAIN this year, rather than immediately recommending I take another DNA microbial test. Fortunately, after I insisted that I retake that test, he did agree to let me take the test. However, I waited a few weeks before I picked up that test, because my doctor's dismissal of my symptoms made me doubt myself. Nevertheless, as I felt worse even after taking daily probiotics for a few weeks, I decided that I needed to determine what was really happening in my intestines.

I'm glad I listened AGAIN to that inner voice (the Holy Spirit?) telling me that the DNA Microbial test could diagnose my problem. Nevertheless, I now anxiously await my doctor's response on Monday morning, while I cope with increasing nausea, cramping pain, and bloating. I feel like I will have diarrhea any minute now, but so far only softer stools than usual. Diarrhea is often a symptom of clostridium difficile.

Perhaps taking probiotics has prevented me from having worse symptoms from bacterial infection, because probiotics provide 'good' bacteria to fight off 'bad' bacteria like clostrium difficle. However, I suspect I will need a stronger antibacterial agent, hopefully an herbal supplement, to eliminate this bacteria. I've read about standard drugs for Clostriudium D, but I fear the side effects like loss of hearing, difficulty urinating and several very dangerous reactions. Patients with IBD or any inflammatory bowel conditions are cautioned against taking the standard antibacterial drugs. So I hope my naturopath has some herbal supplements I can take.

THE GOOD NEWS from my last DNA Microbial test is that I have NO measurable CANDIDA!!! YAAYYY!! Taking Nystatin for 5 months wiped out that fungus. It's nice to have some good news from a scarey report.

So I just need to endure these symptoms for a few more days. I will still take probiotics. I also may take a general purpose antibacterial herbal supplement, which my doc recommended for a previously suspected bacterial dysbiosis (imbalance) situation, which turned out to be really low good bacteria and higher than desirable bad bacteria. That herbal supplement has some nasty side affects, like nausea, bloating and cramping pain, but I already have those. LOL So I could take that supplement at night ... or not ... Right now I just have to wait and see.

Maybe the other good news is that I'm not rapidly losing weight, because I haven't felt nauseas enough to totally not to eat. (Anorexia is one symptom of clostridium d., probably because nausea makes people feel too sick to eat.) I wouldn't mind losing a few pounds. Nevertheless, drinking all that ginger tea for nausea keeps me feeling well enough to try eating. I've read that ginger also helps fight Clostridium D. Nevertheless, I just need prayer and distraction from discomfort for 2 days. If you read this post, please pray for me.

Find Truth Get Free

I mentioned previously that I started a yahoo support group (board). We're a small, but very actively posting group. Since May 2 (not quite 3 weeks ago), we had 768 posts. I'm not only amazed by the activity, but I'm very impressed by our members' honesty, courage and hard work to change and/or eliminate problem eating habits. If that topic interests readers of this blog, read our board description below and consider applying for membership. Here's the board description:

"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." John 8:32

We welcome anyone who wants to change problem eating habits. We believe we have the inner resources and answers to resolve our own eating problems. After we identify those problems, we then seek solutions from our own experiences. We know that we don’t always use problem habits. So we look for those times and occasions when we resist problem eating. We encourage one another to do more of what works and less of what doesn’t work. We don’t need to resolve all of our psychological problems just to change eating habits. So we focus on making the small changes which eventually eliminate problem eating habits. Whether you are overweight, underweight or just unhealthy, you know your own habits and strengths better than anyone else. We can help you realize what you already know to resolve your problem. The truth will set you free.

Because we actively seek solutions for our own problem habits, we want every member to actively post about their specific habit, when they resist using that and how they resolve their problem. So we discourage 'lurkers' or people who only intend to read our messages, but not post their own, from applying for membership.

The link to our board is: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/findtruthgetfree

After you apply for membership, I will send you 3 questions to answer about why you chose to apply for membership:

(1) Do you want to eliminate or resist using a specific problem eating habit? If so, please describe that habit.

(2) Do you notice times or occasions when you don't use that habit or you are most likely to resist using that habit?

(3) What differences do you hope to see as a result of participating on this board?

After I receive your answers, I will approve your membership. Then you can start reading, posting, asking and answering questions from our members. I hope to hear from you soon.

Insights from Food House Fantasy

I can hardly believe everything I learned from doing my 'food house fantasy'. I'll describe those insights as I review each paragraph from my food house fantasy post:

That cute little HOUSE vision reminds me how I dislike all the messes and clutter in my current house. I don't like knicknacks or stuff sitting on all the tables, window sills or counters. Yet I have CHAOS in my studio and office. I would feel much more comfortable in my environment if I cleared out the clutter and kept it clear!

The FOODS in my vision told me that I love starchy, thick, filling foods. I prefer casseroles with vegies, meat and grains mixed together over entrees with separate meat, vegies and starch. Not only can I judge from a serving of casserole how much I need to feel satisfied, but I also like that smorgasboard of tastes and textures from each bite of casserole (or stir fried dish) in my mouth. When I'm hungry, I most often feel the hunger deep in the pit of my stomach. So I want filling, warm and often starchy foods when I'm really hungry. I also love and have ALWAYS loved ice cream or cookies for dessert ... just a couple of spoonfuls of ice cream after heavy meals or a cooky after lighter (like salad) meals. My preferences seem obvious from my description of foods in my food house fantasy. LOL

What's amazing is how much I've changed what I eat since I did that fantasy. I made uncheese (nonallergic ingredients) to top pizza 2 days ago. With the leftover cheese sauce I plan to make a nice starchy macaroni, brocolli, chicken and cheese casserole. On the day we had pizza for dinner, I had a meat, vegie and rice casserole for lunch. I've had hot cooked cereal every day since that fantasy. Yesterday I ate a peanut butter wrap with a lot more peanut butter for lunch. Then for dinner I only ate half of my plate of fish and vegies so I could save the rest for a lunch casserole today. I added more vegies to that casserole for my lunch today. Then I had ice cream for dessert. For dinner tonight I just had a sandwich with an orange and a few more spoonfuls of a new ice cream flavor (coconut). I realize I really like a heavy lunch, because that's when I feel hungriest. However at night I like a lighter, mostly carbs, dinner to help me relax and go to sleep earlier. I don't mind feeling hungry when I go to bed, because I like to wake up hungry and have a filling breakfast. I don't need a heavy dinner at night unless I'm going out after dinner.

My most interesting insight was how much I HATE having to take digestive enzymes, HCl and probiotics just to digest foods. Ironically I had to abstain from all those digestive supplements for 3 days before doing another stool test for 'bad bugs' in my intestines. I won't learn the results of that test for another month. However I learned I do pretty well WITHOUT all those digestive enzymes. I certainly can't overeat without discomfort or reflux, but I digest better than I thought I would. Since taking that test I have tried adding back much smaller amounts of those digestive supplements. I'll definitely stay OFF probiotics until I hear whether I actually need those to fight bad bugs in my gut. Probiotics cause too much uncomfortably gas, no matter how long I've taken them. I never 'adjust'.

However I've also taken just a tiny dose of HCl before meals and/or a pancreatin enzyme after meals. I just don't need as much. I began taking those to improve regularity. Like everything else I tried, digestive supplements helped improve regularity FOR AWHILE. Then I eventually returned to my 'normal' irregularity, which is why I had to take another stool test. Nevetheless, I also suspect I used digestive enzymes as a 'crutch' when I overate, to help me comfortably digest extra food. An easier approach would be to just eat less more often. Without needing to take HCl everytime I ate, I could more easily snack between meals and wouldn't be so apt to overeat at meals to 'make it until' the next meal. DUUUHHHHH!! Of course it took a food house fantasy to convince me of the obvious. LOL

Even if my test results come back totally negative (which will be surprising given my history with bad gut bugs), the requirement that I abstain from digestive supplements for 3 days before the test was well worth the expense of the test. Maybe my digestion improved as I ate normally and abstained from bingeing and purging. Maybe those HCl supplements primed my stomach to make more of its own HCl. Whatever happened, I'll experiment with taking less digestive enzymes less often.

Food House Fantasy Insights

On my Find Truth Get Free message board I posted a 'guided daydream' or fantasy which I read in "The Psychologist's Eat Anything Diet" by Leonard Pearson. Basically the 'fantasizer' gets relaxed, closes her eyes and imagines lying in a grassy meadow listening to birds, hearing a gentle breeze and feeling the warm sun on her face. Then she gets up and follows a path to a house at the edge of a woods. As she enters the house she realizes that the house is filled with ALL of her favorite foods or everything she ever wanted to eat. There is nobody else there, however she can invite 1 or more people to share this house visit. She can do whatever she wants the foods. She can return as often as she wants. After awhile she is told she must soon leave, but she has a few moments to do whatever she wants. Then she leaves, returns to htem meadow, lies back down and then awakens in her current reality.

Then the fantasizer answers a few questions about what she saw in the house, what she did, whom she invited, what she ate, how she felt about the house and its contents and how she felt about leaving the house. I will describe below my answers to those questions about my own food house fantasy. Here's how I visualized the house, the room filled with food, and how I felt and what I thought while I was there:

I could vividly see the house. It was a cute little log cottage, surrounded by
flowers and fruit trees, with a huge front porch with comfy chairs. There were
curtains in the window. I walked into the 'living room' where I saw bouquets of flowers everywhere, maple furniture which I could smell and braided rugs on hardwood floors which I could also smell. (I love the smell of wood and flowers.) However I was overwhelmed by the smell of fresh baked bread wafting from the kitchen.

I followed the scent into the kitchen, where I saw a huge basket of all kinds of fresh fruit on the table. On the counter were 2 loaves of freshly baked chewy bread with lots of seeds and nuts. In the oven was a hot casserole with beans or chicken, rice and vegies. On the stove was a huge pot of thick soup, maybe split pea or chicken vegie. In the freezer part of the refrigerator were several pints of ice cream, each a different flavor, and many ready to thaw and heat frozen entrees. In the refrigerator were containers of salads (like I buy in a deli), which I could just open and eat. I also saw several tubs of different kinds of freshly ground nutbutters, several large chunks of cheese, a tub of butter and a huge jar of mayonnaise. I also saw bottles of good wines, a container of apple ginger juice and a jar of pineapple juice. In the pantry cupboard were a jar of cashews, a 5 pound jar of peanut butter, a cannister of crackers, a cooky jar filled to the brim, a container of dates, and many pop-top cans of chicken, salmon and shrimp.

I didn't think about eating any of those foods. I just took in all the sights
and smells, because I knew I could come back to that kitchen anytime I wanted. However, I did open the back door and find a garden with ripe berries, grapes and all kinds of fresh vegies waiting to eaten. There was also a well with fresh spring water.

I felt RELIEVED because I didn't have to prepare or cook any of the food, but also because the food would always be fresh. So I didn't have to worry about anything going bad. Maybe some local elves shopped, prepared and managed all the food. LOL Also there were NO vitamins or digestive enzymes in the house, because I could eat and normally digest any of the foods. Once I entered the house I would have no food allergies or gastrointestinal problems. I could just eat and enjoy the food without worrying about how I would react.

I recall thinking, when I had to leave, that I will return again very soon. I didn't worry about locking the door, because I thought the house was my secret. I thought that only people I invited could find the house, if/when I wanted to share the house with them. Right now I can only think of one person whom I might invite.

My fantasy suggested what I miss in 'real life' and also what I might do differently. Most of all, on my 'miracle day' I would wake up without food allergies or sensitivities! LOL

I'll discuss what I learned from that fantasy in my next post. Meanwhile, consider having your own food house fantasy. LOL

Yet Another Stool Test

At my naturopath's office I recently picked up my take home stool test kit. OH JOY! LOL I must abstain from all probiotics, digestive enzymes and betaine hydrochloride for 3 days before using that test. Then I can do the test Tuesday morning, call Fed Ex for a pickup and return to using whatever digestive aids I believe I need.

During the past 24 hours I enjoyed the break from taking probiotics, which cause gas and bloating; betaine hydrochloride, which cause acid reflux if I don't eat soon enough after taking those; and digestive enzymes, which I need to take 30-60 minutes AFTER I begin meal. Taking those digestive supplements plus removing Invisiline aligners before the meal, then after the meal brushing and flossing my teeth, brushing the aligner, and reinserting the aligners makes meals pretty complicated, not to mention preparing food.

However I noticed yesterday that whenever I eat any meat and maybe fats, I get pains in my upper right quadrant, where my gallbladder is located. So I suspect using the HCl either increased my acid level enough to stimulate production of pancreatin (enzymes which digest fats and protein) OR just taking pancreatin supplements helped me digest fats and protein. Whatever supplements I took previously, I'm not taking now. So the pain suggests that I really do need those supplements. If I seem to be guessing what I need to resolve digestive difficulty, I observed doctors and naturopaths do the same thing--THEY GUESS the cause of symptoms, prescribe a treatment and wait for that symptom to disappear or get worse.

I need to continue eating without digestive supplements for 2 more days to clear my body (and intestines) of anything that might prevent bad bugs from appearing in my test sample. So all the dangerous critters get a 3 day holiday until my test on Tuesday morning. LOL Meanwhile I will eat more vegan protein sources which are easier to digest. However at this point I'm uncertain whether I really need HCl before meals or just pancreatin after meals. I'll try just one or the other with the first meal I eat after I mail in my test results on Tuesday.