Seattle temperature dipped into the 60s last night. So the house cooled enough for me to actually slip 8 hours. I had to get up to turn off the fan and close the window, because I got cold. However I still got 8 total hours of sleep. Unfortunately I spent my newfound energy posting online and answering emails this morning. I pushed myself to keep moving despite little sleep during the past 3 days, but this morning I just vegged out in front of this computer. I knew I could take a walk in the afternoon, because the weather would be cooler.
I'm glad the weekend is finally here, but I'm sad that I don't feel up to doing anything special or going anywhere to enjoy more temperate weather. I need to eat all my meals at home. So that eliminates day trips or restaurant meals. I'm okay starting about 2 hours after a meal, but then I feel nauseas again just before I need to eat. After a meal I need a strong tasting beverage to wash down the flagyl pills. I decided to try pineapple juice, rather than hazelnut milk to take flagyl. The milk is thicker and worked okay, but it's rather expensive. I need that milk for cooked cereal, which gives me a break from eating peanut butter and fruit on a muffin for breakfast. (I can't eat eggs because of my allergy.) So I'll see how the pineapple juice works after dinner, when I take my next dose of flagyl.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Not Much Cooler, More Nausea than Ever
After a record high of 103 degrees yesterday, Seattle's temperatures only got up to the mid 90s today. Tonight was cool enough that I actually could do some pruning and make a bouquet of gladiolas for our dining room table. I hope the upstairs cools enough to sleep well tonight. I haven't had more than 5 hours of sleep for the past 3 (very hot) nights. I usually try to nap in the afternoon, but don't nap more than an hour or so.
The combination of heat and flagyl made my nausea much worse last night. I had to work hard to distract myself from nausea after a salmon salad dinner, which I couldn't even finish. I sat up dozing on the sofa watching tv until 11:30pm, because I was afraid to lay down and get so sick I threw up. I do NOT look forward to meals, because I have to take the flagyl after every meal. If I don't eat as soon as I feel a hunger pang, I soon get so nauseas that I don't want to eat at all. Maybe the flagyl levels in my blood rise higher as my blood sugar drops between meals. I'm learning to grab a bite of fruit and drink ginger tea to decrease the nausea enough to convince myself I need to eat. The nausea makes me NOT want to eat or think about food. However, I know from experience that eating will decrease the nausea. Nevertheless, when I'm intensely nauseas, because I haven't eaten for awhile, I can't believe eating will make me feel better.
I really hope this flagyl treatment will eliminate the C-diff. However, if the flagyl does nothing else, I will have totally eliminated any urges to overeat. I can't eat very much before I feel too full, even when I take the flagyl after meals. Just as I can't imagine eating past comfort, I also can't imagine purposely throwing up after overeating. Maybe flagyl should be recommended treatment for bulimics. LOL If I did throw up when I felt nauseas, I would really taste even more of that horrible metallic flavor of the flagyl. I taste it enough when I take the pills with hazelnut milk.
I hope this experience doesn't make me dislike hazelnut milk. I tend to dislike foods I associate with painful or negative experiences. My experience with fighting nausea after eating a salmon salad made me not want salad for dinner tonight. We need to eat salads almost every night to use the fresh lettuce in our garden. Maybe tomorrow night I'll try chicken salad with no oranges or tomatoes (citrus and tomatoes can cause reflux).
As soon as the weather cools, I'm making french fries for dinner. I constantly craved french fries during my last course of flagyl. However, we do 'oven fries' and I don't want to heat up the kitchen. Maybe this weekend ... I crave really bland food when I feel nauseas, like ham and cheese sandwiches for lunch and cooked cereal for breakfast. Really starchy foods, like bread, cereals, rice and potatoes, appeal to me when I feel nauseas, but not as much when I'm well. Even in this hot weather, I don't enjoy eating more than 1-2 spoonfuls of ice cream. I may get my ginger cookies from the downstairs freezer. I lost interest in those after I stopped taking flagyl. Those cookies could let me eat ginger and starchy food at the same time.
I need to stop posting about food here. Even writing about food makes me feel nauseas ... it just never goes away ... until after I finish 10 days of flagyl. 3 days done, 7 to go. SIGH
The combination of heat and flagyl made my nausea much worse last night. I had to work hard to distract myself from nausea after a salmon salad dinner, which I couldn't even finish. I sat up dozing on the sofa watching tv until 11:30pm, because I was afraid to lay down and get so sick I threw up. I do NOT look forward to meals, because I have to take the flagyl after every meal. If I don't eat as soon as I feel a hunger pang, I soon get so nauseas that I don't want to eat at all. Maybe the flagyl levels in my blood rise higher as my blood sugar drops between meals. I'm learning to grab a bite of fruit and drink ginger tea to decrease the nausea enough to convince myself I need to eat. The nausea makes me NOT want to eat or think about food. However, I know from experience that eating will decrease the nausea. Nevertheless, when I'm intensely nauseas, because I haven't eaten for awhile, I can't believe eating will make me feel better.
I really hope this flagyl treatment will eliminate the C-diff. However, if the flagyl does nothing else, I will have totally eliminated any urges to overeat. I can't eat very much before I feel too full, even when I take the flagyl after meals. Just as I can't imagine eating past comfort, I also can't imagine purposely throwing up after overeating. Maybe flagyl should be recommended treatment for bulimics. LOL If I did throw up when I felt nauseas, I would really taste even more of that horrible metallic flavor of the flagyl. I taste it enough when I take the pills with hazelnut milk.
I hope this experience doesn't make me dislike hazelnut milk. I tend to dislike foods I associate with painful or negative experiences. My experience with fighting nausea after eating a salmon salad made me not want salad for dinner tonight. We need to eat salads almost every night to use the fresh lettuce in our garden. Maybe tomorrow night I'll try chicken salad with no oranges or tomatoes (citrus and tomatoes can cause reflux).
As soon as the weather cools, I'm making french fries for dinner. I constantly craved french fries during my last course of flagyl. However, we do 'oven fries' and I don't want to heat up the kitchen. Maybe this weekend ... I crave really bland food when I feel nauseas, like ham and cheese sandwiches for lunch and cooked cereal for breakfast. Really starchy foods, like bread, cereals, rice and potatoes, appeal to me when I feel nauseas, but not as much when I'm well. Even in this hot weather, I don't enjoy eating more than 1-2 spoonfuls of ice cream. I may get my ginger cookies from the downstairs freezer. I lost interest in those after I stopped taking flagyl. Those cookies could let me eat ginger and starchy food at the same time.
I need to stop posting about food here. Even writing about food makes me feel nauseas ... it just never goes away ... until after I finish 10 days of flagyl. 3 days done, 7 to go. SIGH
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Record High Temperatures
Seattle is having an unusual heat wave (90-100 degrees) this week. Unfortunately those high temperatures coincide with my flagyl side effects. I don't know whether this nausea is heat related or flagyl related. As I suspected, I didn't have enough flagyl in my system to create really intense side effects. I DO NOW!!! However, I learned enough from my last round of flagyl to drink ginger tea for nausea and take the pills with hazelnut milk. Unfortunately ginger tea increases body temperature. So I need to make ginger iced tea and only drink what I need to control nausea.
Rather than take the pills in the middle of my meal and have stabbing stomach pain and metallic taste during the rest of my meal, I'll try taking them at the end. Then I'll have a spoonful of ice cream for dessert. I tried putting each pill in a spoonful of ice cream and swallowing the ice cream. However, that's like swallowing a whole chocolate chip cookie without chewing or tasting. I felt cheated. I prefer to swallow the pills with milk and then slowly savor a spoonful of ice cream.
Here we go again. I never lost the 2 pounds I gained by eating so much ice cream during my last round of flagyl. I thought people LOST weight when they took flagyl. LOL Unfortunately, I still want to eat when I feel nauseas, because eating decreases my nausea. However, I quickly learned that overeating also increases reflux and nausea. So I still have to carefully listen to my stomach cues. Fortunately I have NOT lost my hunger cues yet during this course of flagyl. Maybe that loss of appetite will come later. Despite those extra pounds, I do NOT want to lose my hunger cues. If I never feel hungry, I can easily eat for nausea and then overeat, because I don't know when I've eaten enough, other than from uncomfortable fullness.
Doubts are replacing my previously positive attitude about taking flagyl. I keep reading comments from other people who had c-diff. Some people don't eliminate the c-diff even after several courses of flagyl treatment. Others swear vancomycin is the most effective drug. I already committed to this round of flagyl. So I won't know for another couple of weeks whether flagyl eliminated the c-diff. If not, I'll request a course of vancomycin. I could still get side effects of nausea and dizziness from vanco, but I won't have to endure this awful metallic taste.
Rather than take the pills in the middle of my meal and have stabbing stomach pain and metallic taste during the rest of my meal, I'll try taking them at the end. Then I'll have a spoonful of ice cream for dessert. I tried putting each pill in a spoonful of ice cream and swallowing the ice cream. However, that's like swallowing a whole chocolate chip cookie without chewing or tasting. I felt cheated. I prefer to swallow the pills with milk and then slowly savor a spoonful of ice cream.
Here we go again. I never lost the 2 pounds I gained by eating so much ice cream during my last round of flagyl. I thought people LOST weight when they took flagyl. LOL Unfortunately, I still want to eat when I feel nauseas, because eating decreases my nausea. However, I quickly learned that overeating also increases reflux and nausea. So I still have to carefully listen to my stomach cues. Fortunately I have NOT lost my hunger cues yet during this course of flagyl. Maybe that loss of appetite will come later. Despite those extra pounds, I do NOT want to lose my hunger cues. If I never feel hungry, I can easily eat for nausea and then overeat, because I don't know when I've eaten enough, other than from uncomfortable fullness.
Doubts are replacing my previously positive attitude about taking flagyl. I keep reading comments from other people who had c-diff. Some people don't eliminate the c-diff even after several courses of flagyl treatment. Others swear vancomycin is the most effective drug. I already committed to this round of flagyl. So I won't know for another couple of weeks whether flagyl eliminated the c-diff. If not, I'll request a course of vancomycin. I could still get side effects of nausea and dizziness from vanco, but I won't have to endure this awful metallic taste.
Monday, July 27, 2009
New Attitude About Flagyl
I took my first 2 flagyl with dinner tonight. Actually I stopped eating in the middle of my salmon salad and swallowed the 2 pills with some hazelnut milk. Then I went back to eating my salad. I noticed a little bitter metallic taste, but not so much that it ruined the salad taste. I also drank ginger tea with my meal to control the nausea. With all those precautions, I didn't suffer much discomfort (nausea, etc.) after taking the first 2 flagyl pills.
Maybe my observations are premature ... maybe I don't have enough flagyl in my system to cause really bad reactions ... maybe the worst is yet to come. However, when I noticed the metallic taste tonight, I just thought, "Yes, that's flagyl. That's the drug which will kill my c-diff bacteria and improve my gut motility (regularity). That's the drug which will eventually eliminate my gut cramps, gas and bloating." Rather than feel sorry for myself for enduring those side effects of nausea and strong metallic taste, I'll let those side effects remind me that flagyl is WORKING to fight the c-diff.
My attitude may deteriorate overnight, especially if I wake up very nauseas. However, I remembered to NOT eat pizza the first night I took the flagyl. LOL I won't soon forget my experience of getting sick several hours after eating pizza for dinner and taking my first 2 flagyl pills a month ago. SIGH Nevertheless, with full knowledge of my previous side effects, I chose to take flagyl for another 10 days. I CHOSE this treatment to eliminate C-diff. I'll probably need to remind myself of that choice, if the side effects become really uncomfortable, but I chose this treatment.
Maybe my observations are premature ... maybe I don't have enough flagyl in my system to cause really bad reactions ... maybe the worst is yet to come. However, when I noticed the metallic taste tonight, I just thought, "Yes, that's flagyl. That's the drug which will kill my c-diff bacteria and improve my gut motility (regularity). That's the drug which will eventually eliminate my gut cramps, gas and bloating." Rather than feel sorry for myself for enduring those side effects of nausea and strong metallic taste, I'll let those side effects remind me that flagyl is WORKING to fight the c-diff.
My attitude may deteriorate overnight, especially if I wake up very nauseas. However, I remembered to NOT eat pizza the first night I took the flagyl. LOL I won't soon forget my experience of getting sick several hours after eating pizza for dinner and taking my first 2 flagyl pills a month ago. SIGH Nevertheless, with full knowledge of my previous side effects, I chose to take flagyl for another 10 days. I CHOSE this treatment to eliminate C-diff. I'll probably need to remind myself of that choice, if the side effects become really uncomfortable, but I chose this treatment.
Good News, Bad News
I just talked to my doctor. He agreed that my symptoms are caused by recurrence of my C-diff infection. He called a prescription for flagyl into my local pharmacy. OH JOY!! 10 more days of nausea, strong metallic taste, stabbing stomach pain when I first take the drug, initially headaches and stuffy nose, and diarrhea. However, the diarrhea part is the GOOD news. LOL That side effect turned my C-diff related constipation into normal regularity. YAAAYY!! The other good news is that I never got any dangerous side effects from flagyl. I only got the unpleasant but 'keep taking this drug if you get' symptoms. So I know what to expect from flagyl.
I also talked to my doc about possibly taking vancomycin. He said we're just guessing here. Either drug could be just as effective. Although I read that many people preferred vanco, because it had fewer side effects, Vanco still causes nausea and dizziness in most people, but without the laxative effect (diarrhea), which I liked in flagyl. Maybe I'll try vanco if this round of flagyl doesn't completely eliminate my c-diff symptoms. I hate to even think that I might need a 3rd round of drug treatment. However, I've heard that c-diff is a very resistant and potentially fatal bug.
I plan to continue taking low dose probiotics (8 billion viable bacteria) while I take flagyl and then follow the flagyl treatment with a week of high dose probiotics (127 billion viable bacteria). That high dose probiotic causes a LOT of bloating and gas. However, I'm determined to endure whatever is necessary to eliminate c-diff.
I also talked to my doc about possibly taking vancomycin. He said we're just guessing here. Either drug could be just as effective. Although I read that many people preferred vanco, because it had fewer side effects, Vanco still causes nausea and dizziness in most people, but without the laxative effect (diarrhea), which I liked in flagyl. Maybe I'll try vanco if this round of flagyl doesn't completely eliminate my c-diff symptoms. I hate to even think that I might need a 3rd round of drug treatment. However, I've heard that c-diff is a very resistant and potentially fatal bug.
I plan to continue taking low dose probiotics (8 billion viable bacteria) while I take flagyl and then follow the flagyl treatment with a week of high dose probiotics (127 billion viable bacteria). That high dose probiotic causes a LOT of bloating and gas. However, I'm determined to endure whatever is necessary to eliminate c-diff.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
May Still Have C-Diff
Tonight (before the 'excuseme' incident) I emailed my naturopath, who previously treated my c-diff symptoms with flagyl. I told him my symptoms are B A A A C K and I may need another round of treatment. I didn't mention whether I prefered flagyl or vancomycin. Previously I read comments by other patients, who took flagyl and said that they preferred vancomycin (with few side effects) over flagyl. However, when I checked the vancomycin side effects, there was one disturbing permanent side effect, which was unrelated to allergic reactions ... temporary or permanent hearing loss. There were some other unpleasant, downright dangerous side effects. However the usual side effects were similar to flagyl (dizziness, nausea) but did not include flagyl's metallic taste or diarrhea. As much as I hated flagyl's metallic taste, the diarrhea had a positive effect on my usually constipated intestines.
Since I did NOT get any 'stop taking and call your doc immediately' symptoms from flagyl, but did get most of the common 'keep taking this drug' side effects, I decided flagyl is a known enemy. I know the bad side effects and got through 10 days of those. I didn't have any really dangerous side effects. I really hesitate to take vancomycin, even if the side effects are usually fewer, because vancomycin's side effects can be permanent, unlike flagyl. I don't want to take that chance.
Nevertheless, I did not specify in my email to my doc, what course of treatment (drug) I preferred. If he mentions Vancomycin, I'll tell him about that hearing loss side effect. However, if he prescribes flagyl, I'll load up on ginger tea to prevent nausea. Nevertheless, I've read that some people don't react as strongly to a second round of flagyl. If I could only be so lucky ... Stay tuned. I probably won't get a reply from my doctor until Monday, at the earliest.
Since I did NOT get any 'stop taking and call your doc immediately' symptoms from flagyl, but did get most of the common 'keep taking this drug' side effects, I decided flagyl is a known enemy. I know the bad side effects and got through 10 days of those. I didn't have any really dangerous side effects. I really hesitate to take vancomycin, even if the side effects are usually fewer, because vancomycin's side effects can be permanent, unlike flagyl. I don't want to take that chance.
Nevertheless, I did not specify in my email to my doc, what course of treatment (drug) I preferred. If he mentions Vancomycin, I'll tell him about that hearing loss side effect. However, if he prescribes flagyl, I'll load up on ginger tea to prevent nausea. Nevertheless, I've read that some people don't react as strongly to a second round of flagyl. If I could only be so lucky ... Stay tuned. I probably won't get a reply from my doctor until Monday, at the earliest.
Zapped by Ingredients Change
"Smile," she said, "Things could be worse." So I smiled and sure enough, things got MUCH worse. SIGH
I have taken alpha-galactosidase (enzyme) for many years to facilitate digestion of 'gassy' vegies, like brocolli, cabbage, etc., and beans. I previously took 'Beano' until I noticed it contained an ingredient which gave me reactions. It either had cane sugar or sorbitol--I forgot which. So I substituted "Excuseme" which also had the alpha-galactosidase enzyme, but only used corn syrup solids for sweetener. Recently I discovered another store carried 'excuseme' at a lower price. I bought that and kept it in my cupboard until I took the last of the old bottle. Tonight I opened up that new bottle and chewed 2 tablets. They tasted weird. I could tell they were different, because I just chewed one tablet from my previous bottle.
Then I checked the ingredients ... FIRST INGREDIENT: SORBITOL (which CAUSES gas for many people, including ME!!!!). LAST INGREDIENT: NATURAL FRENCH VANILLA (I have a diagnosed vanilla allergy which causes gut pain). I don't know why I didn't read the label when I bought that bottle. I'll certainly call the company (local) on Monday morning and ask whether they recently changed the ingredients. Why would they use an ingredient like sorbitol which causes gas and bloating for many people? That's absolutely ridiculous!!
However, I also noticed my previous (more expensive) bottle had an expiration date of 3/12. However the 'newer' (cheaper) bottle had an expiration date of 10/10. WHICH BOTTLE IS NEWER? Did they change the ingredients for my previous bottle or for the newer bottle? Whatever happened, I chewed and swallowed 2 tablets which contained sorbitol (which causes 'leaky gut' reactions) and vanilla (an IgG food allergy for me).
So now, besides suffering cramping pain, gas, bloating and nausea after every meal from an ongoing C-diff infection, I get to endure a sorbitol reaction (probaby just overnight) and a vanilla reaction (3-5 days???) OH JOY!!! Will the cramps, bloating and gas ever end? Why do I bother to eat? OH, I know ... because I get headaches if I go too long without eating. Food allergy and intolerance reactions make me feel @#$%^& if I do and @#$%^& if I don't. GRRRRRRRR!!! I wish those companies would add 'new and improved' or 'changed ingredients' to their labels. SIGH
I have taken alpha-galactosidase (enzyme) for many years to facilitate digestion of 'gassy' vegies, like brocolli, cabbage, etc., and beans. I previously took 'Beano' until I noticed it contained an ingredient which gave me reactions. It either had cane sugar or sorbitol--I forgot which. So I substituted "Excuseme" which also had the alpha-galactosidase enzyme, but only used corn syrup solids for sweetener. Recently I discovered another store carried 'excuseme' at a lower price. I bought that and kept it in my cupboard until I took the last of the old bottle. Tonight I opened up that new bottle and chewed 2 tablets. They tasted weird. I could tell they were different, because I just chewed one tablet from my previous bottle.
Then I checked the ingredients ... FIRST INGREDIENT: SORBITOL (which CAUSES gas for many people, including ME!!!!). LAST INGREDIENT: NATURAL FRENCH VANILLA (I have a diagnosed vanilla allergy which causes gut pain). I don't know why I didn't read the label when I bought that bottle. I'll certainly call the company (local) on Monday morning and ask whether they recently changed the ingredients. Why would they use an ingredient like sorbitol which causes gas and bloating for many people? That's absolutely ridiculous!!
However, I also noticed my previous (more expensive) bottle had an expiration date of 3/12. However the 'newer' (cheaper) bottle had an expiration date of 10/10. WHICH BOTTLE IS NEWER? Did they change the ingredients for my previous bottle or for the newer bottle? Whatever happened, I chewed and swallowed 2 tablets which contained sorbitol (which causes 'leaky gut' reactions) and vanilla (an IgG food allergy for me).
So now, besides suffering cramping pain, gas, bloating and nausea after every meal from an ongoing C-diff infection, I get to endure a sorbitol reaction (probaby just overnight) and a vanilla reaction (3-5 days???) OH JOY!!! Will the cramps, bloating and gas ever end? Why do I bother to eat? OH, I know ... because I get headaches if I go too long without eating. Food allergy and intolerance reactions make me feel @#$%^& if I do and @#$%^& if I don't. GRRRRRRRR!!! I wish those companies would add 'new and improved' or 'changed ingredients' to their labels. SIGH
Friday, July 24, 2009
Do I Still Have C-Diff?
About a week after I stopped taking flagyl to treat C-diff bacteria, my old symptoms (cramping abdominal pain, bloating, gas and constipation) slowly returned. I wanted to blame what I ate or overate or didn't eat. I didn't want to think that I still needed to take antibacterial drugs (like flagyl) with horrible side effects. However my cramping pain symptom has increased. So I feel pain after every meal.
So I checked C-diff websites and learned that 20% of patients don't get well after on treatment with flagyl. Some need several treatments. OH JOY! Just what I need ... more nausea. However, there is another but more expensive drug (vancomycin) which is used to treat C-diff. If the flagyl didn't get rid of C-diff, I will opt for vancomycin, which reportedly has fewer side effects.
However, I wonder how I determine for sure whether I still have c-diff. Do I need another $300+ DNA microbial stool test, which very accurately identifiess C-diff by its DNA? Or do I go to a mainstream doc in my HMO and put up with tests (1) for elevated white blood cells, which can indicate almost anything; (2) stool tests for c-diff toxins, which are often inaccurate and produce false negative results; (3) sigmoidoscopy, a painful exam of the colon through a tube with a camera to look for inflamed colon tissue, which could also be caused by other sources besides c-diff. Although those 3 kinds of tests are cheaper and covered by my HMO, as usual, what my HMO offers is very inaccurate.
After 10 years of misdiagnoses for my CD and food allergy symptoms by my HMO doc, I relied on my naturopath to diagnosed and treat my food allergies and other bacterial, fungus and parasitic gut infections. Of course my husband, who works for our HMO, keeps telling me I shouldn't assume that my HMO will use outdated, inaccurate tests. He keeps telling me I should call and ask how they test for C-diff. I'll check their website.
I just read another c-diff support group website which says that some people don't get rid of c-diff despite multiple treatments. The more I read, the more I fear the worst from this dangerous bacteria. I'll end this post here, while I decide what to do next.
So I checked C-diff websites and learned that 20% of patients don't get well after on treatment with flagyl. Some need several treatments. OH JOY! Just what I need ... more nausea. However, there is another but more expensive drug (vancomycin) which is used to treat C-diff. If the flagyl didn't get rid of C-diff, I will opt for vancomycin, which reportedly has fewer side effects.
However, I wonder how I determine for sure whether I still have c-diff. Do I need another $300+ DNA microbial stool test, which very accurately identifiess C-diff by its DNA? Or do I go to a mainstream doc in my HMO and put up with tests (1) for elevated white blood cells, which can indicate almost anything; (2) stool tests for c-diff toxins, which are often inaccurate and produce false negative results; (3) sigmoidoscopy, a painful exam of the colon through a tube with a camera to look for inflamed colon tissue, which could also be caused by other sources besides c-diff. Although those 3 kinds of tests are cheaper and covered by my HMO, as usual, what my HMO offers is very inaccurate.
After 10 years of misdiagnoses for my CD and food allergy symptoms by my HMO doc, I relied on my naturopath to diagnosed and treat my food allergies and other bacterial, fungus and parasitic gut infections. Of course my husband, who works for our HMO, keeps telling me I shouldn't assume that my HMO will use outdated, inaccurate tests. He keeps telling me I should call and ask how they test for C-diff. I'll check their website.
I just read another c-diff support group website which says that some people don't get rid of c-diff despite multiple treatments. The more I read, the more I fear the worst from this dangerous bacteria. I'll end this post here, while I decide what to do next.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Special Event Restriction
I'm going to Maui in a little more than 2 months. I suspect that I weigh a few pounds more than I did the last time I went to Maui. Never mind that I have abstained from bingeing and purging for over 4 months now. Never mind that I'm eating intuitively whatever feels good in my body, only when hungry and stopping when I feel satisfied most of the time. I forget all that progress when I look in the mirror and see my flabby waist and arms. I see (and measured) extra inches on my waist. However my arms just reflect muscle deterioration. My skin sags where I used to have toned upper arms. Didn't my skin used to fit? LOL All those bad body thoughts make me want to 'cut back' how much I eat.
I decided last night to resume using the ThinWithin Hunger Graph. That's a 0-10 scale where 0=very hungry and 10=very stuffed. On that graph I track when I eat, my hunger level before eating and my hunger level after eating. On my first day (today) I had my morning juice when I wasn't hungry, but didn't feel full afterwards (4-->5). Breakfast was 0-->5. Then I was really hungry at lunch. So I ate 0-->6. I actually served myself enough to feel comfortably satisfied, but I wanted a spoonful of ice cream after lunch.
My spoonful of ice cream turned into more than 1/2 cup!! As I was eating and feeling guilty, I recalled how I used to decide to binge after I overate. Feeling too full and feeling guilty about overeating previously motivated me to say "Oh, what the heck, I might just as well binge". Now, however, I HATE feeling uncomfortably full so much, that bingeing does not appeal to me. Nevertheless, I watched myself go from a few tiny spoonfuls of ice cream to 1/4 cup to over 1/2 cup as I regretted overeating. What was different today? G U I L T!!! Where did that come from?
My first thought, as I continued to eat ice cream, was that I need to put away all my dessert foods for awhile. So I will only have fruit or stevia sweetened tea available after meals. So my guilt led to DIET or restriction thoughts. Those restriction thoughts motivated my 'last supper' response to eating ice cream. By last supper I mean I wanted to eat all I could (before I felt uncomfortably full), before I restricted myself from eating ice cream. Fortunately, I rarely overeat, so 1/2 cup of ice cream seems like too much. Nevertheless, my thoughts of guilt, then restriction, then 'last supper' were very similar to my previous binge logic.
However, I need to consider whether the guilt preceded the restrict thoughts OR the restrict thoughts (I shouldn't be eating ice cream because I need to lose some inches around my waist) actually precede the guilt thoughts. I think my bad body thoughts preceded my restrict thoughts which preceded the guilt thoughts which preceded more overeating. If I had not decided that I needed to lose a few inches, I might not have felt guilty about a few spoonfuls of ice cream.
Am I wrong to want to lose a few inches around my waist or improve the muscle tone in my arms? I don't think so, but I can do both with exercise and activity, rather than restricting what I eat, before my vacation. Even a trip to Maui isn't worth undoing all the progress I've made with intuitive eating. I'd rather go with a flabby waist and flabby arms than return to restricting, bingeing and maybe purging. Rather than worry about toning up my slender body, I prefer to go to Maui after 6+ months of freedom from bingeing (and purging). So I need to keep using intuitive eating, which helped me abstain for over 4 months now.
I plan to review the 'Intuitive Eating' book tonight. However, right now I'm going out to get some exercise by planting flowers in my garden on this sunny afternoon.
I decided last night to resume using the ThinWithin Hunger Graph. That's a 0-10 scale where 0=very hungry and 10=very stuffed. On that graph I track when I eat, my hunger level before eating and my hunger level after eating. On my first day (today) I had my morning juice when I wasn't hungry, but didn't feel full afterwards (4-->5). Breakfast was 0-->5. Then I was really hungry at lunch. So I ate 0-->6. I actually served myself enough to feel comfortably satisfied, but I wanted a spoonful of ice cream after lunch.
My spoonful of ice cream turned into more than 1/2 cup!! As I was eating and feeling guilty, I recalled how I used to decide to binge after I overate. Feeling too full and feeling guilty about overeating previously motivated me to say "Oh, what the heck, I might just as well binge". Now, however, I HATE feeling uncomfortably full so much, that bingeing does not appeal to me. Nevertheless, I watched myself go from a few tiny spoonfuls of ice cream to 1/4 cup to over 1/2 cup as I regretted overeating. What was different today? G U I L T!!! Where did that come from?
My first thought, as I continued to eat ice cream, was that I need to put away all my dessert foods for awhile. So I will only have fruit or stevia sweetened tea available after meals. So my guilt led to DIET or restriction thoughts. Those restriction thoughts motivated my 'last supper' response to eating ice cream. By last supper I mean I wanted to eat all I could (before I felt uncomfortably full), before I restricted myself from eating ice cream. Fortunately, I rarely overeat, so 1/2 cup of ice cream seems like too much. Nevertheless, my thoughts of guilt, then restriction, then 'last supper' were very similar to my previous binge logic.
However, I need to consider whether the guilt preceded the restrict thoughts OR the restrict thoughts (I shouldn't be eating ice cream because I need to lose some inches around my waist) actually precede the guilt thoughts. I think my bad body thoughts preceded my restrict thoughts which preceded the guilt thoughts which preceded more overeating. If I had not decided that I needed to lose a few inches, I might not have felt guilty about a few spoonfuls of ice cream.
Am I wrong to want to lose a few inches around my waist or improve the muscle tone in my arms? I don't think so, but I can do both with exercise and activity, rather than restricting what I eat, before my vacation. Even a trip to Maui isn't worth undoing all the progress I've made with intuitive eating. I'd rather go with a flabby waist and flabby arms than return to restricting, bingeing and maybe purging. Rather than worry about toning up my slender body, I prefer to go to Maui after 6+ months of freedom from bingeing (and purging). So I need to keep using intuitive eating, which helped me abstain for over 4 months now.
I plan to review the 'Intuitive Eating' book tonight. However, right now I'm going out to get some exercise by planting flowers in my garden on this sunny afternoon.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Internet Portion Control
After I deleted my Yahoo board, I also decided to delete my Facebook page. I originally created that page in order to participate in a FB book study group which an internet friend hosted. She and I were the only 2 active participants, though the group included many 'lurkers'. I ended up finishing the book study by myself (posting my impressions of each chapter on the FB study page). I had previously read, written discussion questions and chapter summaries for and taught that book to a local group. So I primarily reread the book and did the study to support my friend. She got sidetracked into other activities, while I finished the book. Eventually she also finished the study and posted her impressions online.
Meanwhile I got caught up in all the FB quizzes, reading my FB acquaintance comments, adding replies, etc., etc. I was also moderating and posting replies to my very active board (1250 posts the first month, 850 the second month and almost 800 the first 3 weeks of July, before I deleted the board). Besides the yahoo board and FB, I checked my email, another 2 boards (posted replies on one) and read a few more 'favorites' sites daily. I suspect I spent anywhere from 3-6 hours online daily.
So I decided to delete my board and then discontinue my FB page. I also deleted from my 'favorites' many blogs and a few websites I used to read. I still want to turn on this computer and 'check in'. That lets me sit and vegetate for a few minutes after returning home from errands, walks, etc. However, without a board to moderate or FB to monitor 'friends' (most are only acquaintances), I can't sit very long.
Maybe limiting what I can easily access online list is like portion control with desserts. If I serve myself a small dish of ice cream, I will eat much less than if I eat out of the carton. Likewise, if I only have this and one other friend's blog, one board membership ('Intuitive Eating'), a couple of 'favorite' websites and few important emails daily, I can avoid spending so much time online. Just as I approach eating, I don't want to completely eliminate internet activity (an all or nothing approach). I just want to minimize how much time I spend online.
Meanwhile I've discovered much more time for spontaneous household and garden projects. Yesterday I grated and froze zucchini and made a loaf of zucchini bread. Today I successfully cleaned a very moldy plastic tablecloth. Rather than sit and post on boards last night, I played my piano for over an hour. Likewise my husband, rather than veg out in front of his computer, sat and read the paper while listening to me play. AMAZING!!
Rather than filling my time with internet relationships, I've made time for more spontaneous connection with face-to-face relationships. While I picked blueberries last night, I had a great conversation with the guy who's working on cleaning up the yard in the vacant rental house next door. While I appreciate a few supportive friends whom I met online, I can still chat with them on IM or email them. However, limiting my internet time allows me to enjoy everyone else in my life.
I didn't purposely decide to limit internet and tv time. I just got really bored sitting in front of this computer, on sunny days or when I planned to do other projects, but felt obligated to moderate my board. So one thing led to another ... Now I love having all this extra time. I don't feel so overwhelmed by all the projects I want to do but never find time to do.
Obviously, I will still post updates on this blog as well as use this blog to sort out my thoughts and beliefs. However, I don't feel obligated to my 'readers' (whoever you are), like I felt obligated to my board members. I don't know where this newfound freedom will lead, but I enjoy the ride.
Meanwhile I got caught up in all the FB quizzes, reading my FB acquaintance comments, adding replies, etc., etc. I was also moderating and posting replies to my very active board (1250 posts the first month, 850 the second month and almost 800 the first 3 weeks of July, before I deleted the board). Besides the yahoo board and FB, I checked my email, another 2 boards (posted replies on one) and read a few more 'favorites' sites daily. I suspect I spent anywhere from 3-6 hours online daily.
So I decided to delete my board and then discontinue my FB page. I also deleted from my 'favorites' many blogs and a few websites I used to read. I still want to turn on this computer and 'check in'. That lets me sit and vegetate for a few minutes after returning home from errands, walks, etc. However, without a board to moderate or FB to monitor 'friends' (most are only acquaintances), I can't sit very long.
Maybe limiting what I can easily access online list is like portion control with desserts. If I serve myself a small dish of ice cream, I will eat much less than if I eat out of the carton. Likewise, if I only have this and one other friend's blog, one board membership ('Intuitive Eating'), a couple of 'favorite' websites and few important emails daily, I can avoid spending so much time online. Just as I approach eating, I don't want to completely eliminate internet activity (an all or nothing approach). I just want to minimize how much time I spend online.
Meanwhile I've discovered much more time for spontaneous household and garden projects. Yesterday I grated and froze zucchini and made a loaf of zucchini bread. Today I successfully cleaned a very moldy plastic tablecloth. Rather than sit and post on boards last night, I played my piano for over an hour. Likewise my husband, rather than veg out in front of his computer, sat and read the paper while listening to me play. AMAZING!!
Rather than filling my time with internet relationships, I've made time for more spontaneous connection with face-to-face relationships. While I picked blueberries last night, I had a great conversation with the guy who's working on cleaning up the yard in the vacant rental house next door. While I appreciate a few supportive friends whom I met online, I can still chat with them on IM or email them. However, limiting my internet time allows me to enjoy everyone else in my life.
I didn't purposely decide to limit internet and tv time. I just got really bored sitting in front of this computer, on sunny days or when I planned to do other projects, but felt obligated to moderate my board. So one thing led to another ... Now I love having all this extra time. I don't feel so overwhelmed by all the projects I want to do but never find time to do.
Obviously, I will still post updates on this blog as well as use this blog to sort out my thoughts and beliefs. However, I don't feel obligated to my 'readers' (whoever you are), like I felt obligated to my board members. I don't know where this newfound freedom will lead, but I enjoy the ride.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Books Which Facilitated My Journey
I want to share which books (and authors) which helped me confront and change my beliefs about food, eating and my body and my eating habits. Some of those books also helped me improve how I relate to other people, cope with emotions and live my life, so that I no longer need to use food to cope with stress.
These books helped me change my eating habits and beliefs:
INTUITIVE EATING by Evelyn Tribole and Elise Resch
ON EATING by Susie Orbach
FAT IS A FEMINIST ISSUE by Susie Orbach
THE RULES OF NORMAL EATING by Karen Koenig
BREAKING FREE FROM EMOTIONAL (COMPULSIVE) EATING by Geneen Roth
WHY WEIGHT by Geneen Roth
WHEN YOU EAT AT THE REFRIGERATOR, PULL UP A CHAIR by Geneen Roth
DIETS DON'T WORK by Bob Schwartz
HOW TO SURVIVE YOUR DIET by Linda Moran
OVERCOMING OVEREATING by Carol Munter and Jane Hirschmann
WHEN WOMEN STOP HATING THEIR BODIES by Carol Munter and Jane Hirschmann
THIN WITHIN by Judy and Arthur Halliday
WEIGH DOWN DIET by Gwen Shamblin
THE 7 SECRETS OF SLIM PEOPLE by Vikki Hansen and Shawn Goodman
BEYOND A SHADOW OF A DIET by Judith Matz and Ellen Frankel
THE APPETITE AWARENESS WORKBOOK by Linda Craighead
THE PSYCHOLOGIST' S EAT ANYTHING DIET by Leonard and Lillian Pearson
ONE BOWL by Don Gerrard
MAKING PEACE WITH FOOD by Susan Kano
BULIMIA: A GUIDE TO RECOVERY by Lindsay Hall and Leigh Cohn
SLENDER BALANCE by Susan Squire
EATING DISORDERS by Reiff and Reiff
DANGEROUS GRAINS by Ron Hoggan
THE IRRITABLE BOWEL SYNDROME SOLUTION by Dr. Stephen Wangen
The following books helped me change how I coped with relationships, emotions and life challenges:
RAPID RELIEF FROM EMOTIONAL DISTRESS by Gary Emery and James Campbell
THE FOOD AND FEELINGS WORKBOOK by Karen Koenig
BREAKING THE CYCLE OF ABUSE by Beverly Engel
UP FROM BOREDOM AND DOWN FROM FEAR by Dr. Bruce Leckart
TOO GOOD FOR HER OWN GOOD by Claudia Bepko and JoAnn Krestan
EMOTIONAL ALCHEMY by Tara Bennett-Golemann
THE TRUTH ABOUT ADDICTION AND RECOVERY by Stanton Peele and Archy Brodsky
HOW I FEED MY FAMILY ON $16 A WEEK by JoAnn York
BEATING THE HIGH COST OF EATING by Barbara Salsbury
THE MESSAGE by Eugene Peterson
I read many more books during my recovery journey. However I still own the books I listed above. So I reread, reviewed and learned from them many times. I hope you will consider reading one or more of those books to facilitate your journey.
These books helped me change my eating habits and beliefs:
INTUITIVE EATING by Evelyn Tribole and Elise Resch
ON EATING by Susie Orbach
FAT IS A FEMINIST ISSUE by Susie Orbach
THE RULES OF NORMAL EATING by Karen Koenig
BREAKING FREE FROM EMOTIONAL (COMPULSIVE) EATING by Geneen Roth
WHY WEIGHT by Geneen Roth
WHEN YOU EAT AT THE REFRIGERATOR, PULL UP A CHAIR by Geneen Roth
DIETS DON'T WORK by Bob Schwartz
HOW TO SURVIVE YOUR DIET by Linda Moran
OVERCOMING OVEREATING by Carol Munter and Jane Hirschmann
WHEN WOMEN STOP HATING THEIR BODIES by Carol Munter and Jane Hirschmann
THIN WITHIN by Judy and Arthur Halliday
WEIGH DOWN DIET by Gwen Shamblin
THE 7 SECRETS OF SLIM PEOPLE by Vikki Hansen and Shawn Goodman
BEYOND A SHADOW OF A DIET by Judith Matz and Ellen Frankel
THE APPETITE AWARENESS WORKBOOK by Linda Craighead
THE PSYCHOLOGIST' S EAT ANYTHING DIET by Leonard and Lillian Pearson
ONE BOWL by Don Gerrard
MAKING PEACE WITH FOOD by Susan Kano
BULIMIA: A GUIDE TO RECOVERY by Lindsay Hall and Leigh Cohn
SLENDER BALANCE by Susan Squire
EATING DISORDERS by Reiff and Reiff
DANGEROUS GRAINS by Ron Hoggan
THE IRRITABLE BOWEL SYNDROME SOLUTION by Dr. Stephen Wangen
The following books helped me change how I coped with relationships, emotions and life challenges:
RAPID RELIEF FROM EMOTIONAL DISTRESS by Gary Emery and James Campbell
THE FOOD AND FEELINGS WORKBOOK by Karen Koenig
BREAKING THE CYCLE OF ABUSE by Beverly Engel
UP FROM BOREDOM AND DOWN FROM FEAR by Dr. Bruce Leckart
TOO GOOD FOR HER OWN GOOD by Claudia Bepko and JoAnn Krestan
EMOTIONAL ALCHEMY by Tara Bennett-Golemann
THE TRUTH ABOUT ADDICTION AND RECOVERY by Stanton Peele and Archy Brodsky
HOW I FEED MY FAMILY ON $16 A WEEK by JoAnn York
BEATING THE HIGH COST OF EATING by Barbara Salsbury
THE MESSAGE by Eugene Peterson
I read many more books during my recovery journey. However I still own the books I listed above. So I reread, reviewed and learned from them many times. I hope you will consider reading one or more of those books to facilitate your journey.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Deleting FTGF Board
After over a month of deliberation, I decided to close my Find Truth Get Free board late on July 20. Several reasons for this decision come to mind:
(1) I created that board after I left Karen Koenig's 'Food & Feelings' board. There one very active member became angry after I and several other members mentioned specific foods in our posts (despite the fact that the board was a FOOD & feelings board). That angry member preferred to just talk about feelings (i.e. VENT about her life and eating difficulties), but not talk solutions. So I wanted to start a board where people talked about specific problems and considered specific solutions for those problems. I also wanted to inspire members to DO something different to effect change, rather than talk about thinking about change. At first everyone who joined my board was very excited about resolving problem eating habits.
Little did I realize at that time that most people who post on boards are in the CONTEMPLATION mode of habit change. They know they have difficulties, but they are ambivalent about change, despite the difficulties their problem habits cause. All but one member of my FTGF board was very heavily entrenched in the contemplation (but resist change) mode. Now I know why therapists charge exorbitant fees to patiently listen to people who want to complain about their problems, but aren't ready to change. SIGH
(2) When I created my board, I felt sick and chronically tired. So sitting in front of the computer posting on the board let me believe I was accomplishing something, when I was too exhausted to do anything more active. Little did I realize that I was suffering symptoms of a yet undiagnosed C-diff (clostridium difficile) potentially fatal bacterial infection in my gut. After I FINALLY convinced my doc that I needed another DNA microbial stool test, despite his belief that 'stress' caused my gut symptoms, I still had to wait another 3-1/2 weeks for the results of that test. So I felt really sick during most of May. After I finally got the test result (high levels of c-diff) in June, I soon began taking one of the worst drugs I've ever taken to treat bacteria (flagyl). The flagyl side effects of headaches, nausea, fatigue, stabbing gut pain, strong metallic taste and lack of hunger cues (other than more intense nausea when I needed to eat) lasted for over 2 weeks (although the treatment was only 11 days). So I didn't start to feel more energetic until early July. Then I no longer wanted to sit in front of this computer for long hours posting on my board.
(3) Even before I finished taking flagyl and recovered from c-diff, warm summer days had arrived in Seattle. We don't have many sunny days, so we go crazy when the sun shines. We have to get outside, wear shorts and flipflops and soak up the rays while we can, rather than rely on vitamin D supplements. LOL However this summer was like no other. It started in late MAY. We went almost 2 months without measurable rainfall. My garden vegies and berries flourished. Even when I was so sick with undiagnosed C-diff that I could hardly stay awake, I did a 20 mile bikeride, just to be in the sun, albeit riding very slowly.
So after I recovered from c-diff and flagyl side effects, I resented every minute I spent in front of this computer, when I could have been outside in my garden, or walking or biking around our local lake, or even being in any other (sunnier) room of the house (my computer is in a north facing room). As the summer progressed I needed to harvest and freeze produce. I needed to prune flowers and vegies. I wanted to eat dinners and sit talking with my husband after dinner on our front porch. I wanted to spontaneously stop to gab with my neighbors on my walks. I wanted to do anything but be in the house in front of this computer on sunny days. So I often answered posts early in the morning or late at night. Either way I didn't get enough sleep, for someone who just recovered from c-diff.
(4) Finally I started reading the classic "Intuitive Eating" by Tribole and Resch after trying to describe intuitive eating to diet oriented FTGF members. That book reassured me that many of my eating habits WERE intuitive eating. However that book also revealed that I still struggled with some diet mentality and unnecessary food restriction. Above all, I realized that the FTGF board members who struggled the most actually caused their problems with their diet (restriction) mentality. I could no longer support their restrictive diets, which caused overeating and food fears.
Although I began the board with the intention of encouraging members to find their own solutions, I could no longer support one member whose 'solutions' actually caused her problems. When I told her in no uncertain terms that her restrictive diet caused her problems, she left the board. At that point I realized how much she reminded me of myself, my own longterm struggle with bingeing and purging habits, because I continued to unnecessarily restrict what I ate. I knew that I could only offer intuitive eating, rather than support for members who wanted to lose weight by restrictive dieting. I considered changing the board description to explain that I supported intuitive eating, but not restrictive weight loss oriented dieting. However, by that time I just wanted to be free of the board so I could enjoy summer, gardening, freezing produce and outdoor recreational activities (like biking, playing tennis, walking and paddleboating).
I finally learned that many people who post on the internet are NOT out enjoying life. They are NOT actively solving their problems. Some want sympathy for enduring difficulties with problems they are ambivalent about solving or habits they feel ambivalent about changing. They love to talk about change, but they always have excuses about why they are not ready to change. They love to hear how I changed my habits, but they think they are different and can't do what I did. Maybe someday, they say, they will change, but right now they can only do what works for them, which often means using the same habits which make them unhappy and posting about their unhappiness on message boards.
Although many people suggest that I write books, rather than moderate message board, to inspire others with problem eating habits, I know how I collected 'intuitive eating' books while I continued to restrict myself, feel deprived, then binge, purge and start the whole cycle again. So I wanted to help people actually change their habits, rather than think about but feel ambivalent about change. I've learned not to expect more than microscopic change from people who post on message boards or online support groups. I guess I found the truth about message boards and now I want to free myself of obligation to moderate a board. Enough already ...
(1) I created that board after I left Karen Koenig's 'Food & Feelings' board. There one very active member became angry after I and several other members mentioned specific foods in our posts (despite the fact that the board was a FOOD & feelings board). That angry member preferred to just talk about feelings (i.e. VENT about her life and eating difficulties), but not talk solutions. So I wanted to start a board where people talked about specific problems and considered specific solutions for those problems. I also wanted to inspire members to DO something different to effect change, rather than talk about thinking about change. At first everyone who joined my board was very excited about resolving problem eating habits.
Little did I realize at that time that most people who post on boards are in the CONTEMPLATION mode of habit change. They know they have difficulties, but they are ambivalent about change, despite the difficulties their problem habits cause. All but one member of my FTGF board was very heavily entrenched in the contemplation (but resist change) mode. Now I know why therapists charge exorbitant fees to patiently listen to people who want to complain about their problems, but aren't ready to change. SIGH
(2) When I created my board, I felt sick and chronically tired. So sitting in front of the computer posting on the board let me believe I was accomplishing something, when I was too exhausted to do anything more active. Little did I realize that I was suffering symptoms of a yet undiagnosed C-diff (clostridium difficile) potentially fatal bacterial infection in my gut. After I FINALLY convinced my doc that I needed another DNA microbial stool test, despite his belief that 'stress' caused my gut symptoms, I still had to wait another 3-1/2 weeks for the results of that test. So I felt really sick during most of May. After I finally got the test result (high levels of c-diff) in June, I soon began taking one of the worst drugs I've ever taken to treat bacteria (flagyl). The flagyl side effects of headaches, nausea, fatigue, stabbing gut pain, strong metallic taste and lack of hunger cues (other than more intense nausea when I needed to eat) lasted for over 2 weeks (although the treatment was only 11 days). So I didn't start to feel more energetic until early July. Then I no longer wanted to sit in front of this computer for long hours posting on my board.
(3) Even before I finished taking flagyl and recovered from c-diff, warm summer days had arrived in Seattle. We don't have many sunny days, so we go crazy when the sun shines. We have to get outside, wear shorts and flipflops and soak up the rays while we can, rather than rely on vitamin D supplements. LOL However this summer was like no other. It started in late MAY. We went almost 2 months without measurable rainfall. My garden vegies and berries flourished. Even when I was so sick with undiagnosed C-diff that I could hardly stay awake, I did a 20 mile bikeride, just to be in the sun, albeit riding very slowly.
So after I recovered from c-diff and flagyl side effects, I resented every minute I spent in front of this computer, when I could have been outside in my garden, or walking or biking around our local lake, or even being in any other (sunnier) room of the house (my computer is in a north facing room). As the summer progressed I needed to harvest and freeze produce. I needed to prune flowers and vegies. I wanted to eat dinners and sit talking with my husband after dinner on our front porch. I wanted to spontaneously stop to gab with my neighbors on my walks. I wanted to do anything but be in the house in front of this computer on sunny days. So I often answered posts early in the morning or late at night. Either way I didn't get enough sleep, for someone who just recovered from c-diff.
(4) Finally I started reading the classic "Intuitive Eating" by Tribole and Resch after trying to describe intuitive eating to diet oriented FTGF members. That book reassured me that many of my eating habits WERE intuitive eating. However that book also revealed that I still struggled with some diet mentality and unnecessary food restriction. Above all, I realized that the FTGF board members who struggled the most actually caused their problems with their diet (restriction) mentality. I could no longer support their restrictive diets, which caused overeating and food fears.
Although I began the board with the intention of encouraging members to find their own solutions, I could no longer support one member whose 'solutions' actually caused her problems. When I told her in no uncertain terms that her restrictive diet caused her problems, she left the board. At that point I realized how much she reminded me of myself, my own longterm struggle with bingeing and purging habits, because I continued to unnecessarily restrict what I ate. I knew that I could only offer intuitive eating, rather than support for members who wanted to lose weight by restrictive dieting. I considered changing the board description to explain that I supported intuitive eating, but not restrictive weight loss oriented dieting. However, by that time I just wanted to be free of the board so I could enjoy summer, gardening, freezing produce and outdoor recreational activities (like biking, playing tennis, walking and paddleboating).
I finally learned that many people who post on the internet are NOT out enjoying life. They are NOT actively solving their problems. Some want sympathy for enduring difficulties with problems they are ambivalent about solving or habits they feel ambivalent about changing. They love to talk about change, but they always have excuses about why they are not ready to change. They love to hear how I changed my habits, but they think they are different and can't do what I did. Maybe someday, they say, they will change, but right now they can only do what works for them, which often means using the same habits which make them unhappy and posting about their unhappiness on message boards.
Although many people suggest that I write books, rather than moderate message board, to inspire others with problem eating habits, I know how I collected 'intuitive eating' books while I continued to restrict myself, feel deprived, then binge, purge and start the whole cycle again. So I wanted to help people actually change their habits, rather than think about but feel ambivalent about change. I've learned not to expect more than microscopic change from people who post on message boards or online support groups. I guess I found the truth about message boards and now I want to free myself of obligation to moderate a board. Enough already ...
Thursday, July 16, 2009
"Intuitive Eating" by Tribole and Resch
After grappling with how I defined intuitive eating in previous posts, I decided to finally read the classic book, "Intuitive Eating" by Tribole and Resch. I may have skimmed through that book years ago and decided I had already read enough books by authors who encouraged intuitive eating. As I read, I realize that I already learned and incorporated many of their suggestions into my approach to eating. However, "Intuitive Eating" also explains how my eating (pseudo dieting) habits and beliefs perpetuated my binge/purge habits for so many years. Reading that book helps me understand how I can now become even more attuned to my body cues and food preferences in order to eat even more intuitively and permanently end food struggles and overeating.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Eat According to Body Cues
My previous 2 posts convinced me that I need 3 rules for intuitive eating: (1) Eat only when physically hungry (empty, knawing sensation in stomach); (2) choose foods that will provide the tastes, textures, flavors, stomach comfort and staying power (feel unhungry for awhile) you want; and (3) stop eating when satisfied or comfortably full.
However, I wonder whether I need to follow a rule that says pay attention to your food (and body) while you eat, in order to sense satisfaction or comfortable fullness. On the other hand, does intuitive eating automatically imply that I AM connected to and aware of my body sensations when I feel hungry, when I choose what to eat and when I notice I'm satisfied or full? Many 'intuitive eating' authors suggest that we need pay attention to the food to get the most enjoyment possible while eating, so that we won't mind stopping when we feel full. However I believe I need to pay attention to my STOMACH and how it feels, while I eat, so that I will notice when I feel full or no longer hungry.
Does 'intuitive eating' by definition mean that I pay attention to my body cues, before, during and after I stop eating? If I only pay attention to my body while eating, rather than before I begin to eat or when I choose what to eat, I wouldn't notice hunger. So maybe I should assume that if I listen to my body sensations to recognize hunger, I continue to consider my body cues when I choose what to eat and as I eat. Maybe there's a simple rule that summarizes those 3 rules about eat when you notice hunger, eat what feels good and stop eating when no longer hungry. Maybe that one rule is EAT ACCORDING TO BODY CUES. That covers start when hungry, stop when full and choose foods that match the physical sensations you crave (like taste, flavor, texture, stomach comfort and staying unhungry).
However, I choose foods most of all according to body comfort, somewhat because of staying power and least according to taste enjoyment. If a food tastes great, but doesn't keep me hungry very long, I may only eat that food in combination with other foods with more staying power. I might sometimes eat that food when I expect to eat a meal within 1-2 hours. So staying power is important to me. Although I enjoy the tastes, textures and flavor of food, and want to stay unhungry for awhile after eating, if I don't feel comfortable in my stomach during and after eating, I don't care about tastes and textures. My 7 food allergens taste great, but cause excruciating pains in my stomach and intestines. So stomach comfort trumps taste and staying power.
Perhaps stomach comfort is my prime incentive for intuitive eating. I want to eat when I feel moderately hungry, not famished. I want to eat foods that make me feel comfortable during and after I eat them. I want foods that keep me from getting uncomfortably hungry for awhile. I want to stop eating when I feel comfortably satisfied and/or full. Maybe intuitive eating can be considered the 'stomach comfort diet' with one basic rule: Eat according to body cues to avoid physical discomfort (from extreme hunger, indigestion and/or extreme fullness).
However, I wonder whether I need to follow a rule that says pay attention to your food (and body) while you eat, in order to sense satisfaction or comfortable fullness. On the other hand, does intuitive eating automatically imply that I AM connected to and aware of my body sensations when I feel hungry, when I choose what to eat and when I notice I'm satisfied or full? Many 'intuitive eating' authors suggest that we need pay attention to the food to get the most enjoyment possible while eating, so that we won't mind stopping when we feel full. However I believe I need to pay attention to my STOMACH and how it feels, while I eat, so that I will notice when I feel full or no longer hungry.
Does 'intuitive eating' by definition mean that I pay attention to my body cues, before, during and after I stop eating? If I only pay attention to my body while eating, rather than before I begin to eat or when I choose what to eat, I wouldn't notice hunger. So maybe I should assume that if I listen to my body sensations to recognize hunger, I continue to consider my body cues when I choose what to eat and as I eat. Maybe there's a simple rule that summarizes those 3 rules about eat when you notice hunger, eat what feels good and stop eating when no longer hungry. Maybe that one rule is EAT ACCORDING TO BODY CUES. That covers start when hungry, stop when full and choose foods that match the physical sensations you crave (like taste, flavor, texture, stomach comfort and staying unhungry).
However, I choose foods most of all according to body comfort, somewhat because of staying power and least according to taste enjoyment. If a food tastes great, but doesn't keep me hungry very long, I may only eat that food in combination with other foods with more staying power. I might sometimes eat that food when I expect to eat a meal within 1-2 hours. So staying power is important to me. Although I enjoy the tastes, textures and flavor of food, and want to stay unhungry for awhile after eating, if I don't feel comfortable in my stomach during and after eating, I don't care about tastes and textures. My 7 food allergens taste great, but cause excruciating pains in my stomach and intestines. So stomach comfort trumps taste and staying power.
Perhaps stomach comfort is my prime incentive for intuitive eating. I want to eat when I feel moderately hungry, not famished. I want to eat foods that make me feel comfortable during and after I eat them. I want foods that keep me from getting uncomfortably hungry for awhile. I want to stop eating when I feel comfortably satisfied and/or full. Maybe intuitive eating can be considered the 'stomach comfort diet' with one basic rule: Eat according to body cues to avoid physical discomfort (from extreme hunger, indigestion and/or extreme fullness).
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Making the Match
In my last long post I considered my choice to sometimes eat standing up, rather than seated at a table, whenever I feel hungry. However, I realized another problem with grabbing and eating food while I prepare a meal. If the 'grab and eat' food is exactly what I craved or 'matches' my craving, then I may not need to eat much of what I prepare. However if I grab and eat food that's convenient, but not exactly what my body craved to satisfy hunger, then I may overeat the meal I prepare, if that meal contains the food I craved.
Sometimes I really do crave cold Rainier cherries, rather than a hot meal. However the cherries won't completely satisfy my hunger, or will only keep me hungry for a short while. So I want the meat and starch or vegies from the meal as well as a few cherries. Sometimes I eat a whole meal and realize that I still want something sweet. So I eat my 2 teaspoons of ice cream while standing in the kitchen. Because I only crave a 'taste', I just have enough to satisfy that taste craving after I already satisfied hunger.
One important principle of intuitive eating is 'making the match' or choosing to eat what I crave. Correctly making the match lets me eat exactly what my body craves, what will feel good in my body, not just what my eyes see or my nose smells or what I hear someone else describe. When I consider what I crave, I consider how the food will taste (sweet, salty, sour or bitter), the temperature, the textures (crisp, mushy, chewy, soft, creamy, crunchy), flavors (fruity, spicy, bland, smokey, exotic), AND how the food will feel in my body. If I want chocolate, I try to avoid eating other foods which cause reflux (like tomato products or citrus or onions, etc.) If I'm feeling ill, I want food I can easily digest (like cooked vegies, easily digested protein like chicken or even vegan entrees).
When I consider what foods will feel good in my body, what foods will taste and feel good in my mouth, and what foods will keep me unhungry for awhile (my purpose for eating), I can resist grabbing foods that are merely convenient, while I prepare what I know will feel good in my body and satisfy physical cravings. So making the correct match will help me eat exactly what I want, feel satisfied with less, and stop when I feel no longer hungry, rather than full, because I feel so satisfied that I don't need any more food, after my hunger is gone. Making the correct match insures satisfaction as well as comfortable fullness.
Sometimes I really do crave cold Rainier cherries, rather than a hot meal. However the cherries won't completely satisfy my hunger, or will only keep me hungry for a short while. So I want the meat and starch or vegies from the meal as well as a few cherries. Sometimes I eat a whole meal and realize that I still want something sweet. So I eat my 2 teaspoons of ice cream while standing in the kitchen. Because I only crave a 'taste', I just have enough to satisfy that taste craving after I already satisfied hunger.
One important principle of intuitive eating is 'making the match' or choosing to eat what I crave. Correctly making the match lets me eat exactly what my body craves, what will feel good in my body, not just what my eyes see or my nose smells or what I hear someone else describe. When I consider what I crave, I consider how the food will taste (sweet, salty, sour or bitter), the temperature, the textures (crisp, mushy, chewy, soft, creamy, crunchy), flavors (fruity, spicy, bland, smokey, exotic), AND how the food will feel in my body. If I want chocolate, I try to avoid eating other foods which cause reflux (like tomato products or citrus or onions, etc.) If I'm feeling ill, I want food I can easily digest (like cooked vegies, easily digested protein like chicken or even vegan entrees).
When I consider what foods will feel good in my body, what foods will taste and feel good in my mouth, and what foods will keep me unhungry for awhile (my purpose for eating), I can resist grabbing foods that are merely convenient, while I prepare what I know will feel good in my body and satisfy physical cravings. So making the correct match will help me eat exactly what I want, feel satisfied with less, and stop when I feel no longer hungry, rather than full, because I feel so satisfied that I don't need any more food, after my hunger is gone. Making the correct match insures satisfaction as well as comfortable fullness.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Mindful Eating Rules vs. Intuitive Eating
I've read several books which suggest rules and exercises for mindful eating. Judith Beck (daughter of cognitive therapy guru Aaron Beck) in her book "The Beck Diet Solution" suggests ways that dieters can limit when and how much they eat because most dieters don't know how to diet and they do not recognize their hunger or fullness cues. They eat from external or internal triggers, especially sabotaging thoughts. However Ms. Beck also includes a chapter and exercises to help dieters learn to 'tolerate hunger'. She suggests her readers purposely skip lunch so they can realize the 'hunger is not an emergency'. She says "You definitely don't have to eat when you're hungry. Just because you want to eat doesn't mean you always should." Perhaps she confuses physical stomach hunger with mental wanting to eat.
'Eating the Moment' author Pavel G. Somov suggests exercises to limit how much we eat, because he believes most people ignore their stomach cues and eat according to visual cues. He says that we eat to satisfy needs of the body, needs of the mind, and out of habit when triggered by environmental cues. However, he also includes ways to tune into stomach sensations for physical hunger and fullness. So some of his exercises support intuitive eating goals.
Even Judy Halladay, author of "ThinWithin", suggests 8 keys to conscious eating, which include eat only when hungry and stop eating when satsified AS WELL AS eat sitting down, without distractions, eat slowly, etc. or rules to help us eat only when hungry and stop when satisfied, because most people have difficulty recognizing and obeying stomach cues. So those who suggest mindful eating rules assume that people will NOT obey their stomach cues. Rather than let their bodies tell them when and how much to eat, then must make conscious mental decisions about where and how to eat in order to limit when and how much to eat.
In contrast, intuitive eating, by definition, is eating according to physical cues, rather than mental cravings. The longer I practice intuitive eating, the less I want to follow rules about how and where I eat. To me intuitive eating means eatingin response to physical cues of hunger foods which feel good in my body (not just taste good) and keep me unhungry for awhiile (which is why I eat), stopping when I feel physically satisfied and/or comfortably full. I initially needed to eat without distractions while I learned to recognize those stomach cues. However I now wonder: do I need to ALWAYS eat sitting down while focussing only on my food and stomach sensations in order to recognize stomach cues that I am no longer hungry and can stop eating? If I needed to always focus only on my body cues, I could never eat with another person. If I can only eat intuitively when I completely focus on eating, I must always eat in a quiet, uncluttered room lest I be distracted and overlook my physical sensations of fullness and/or satisfaction.
I'm least likely to follow the suggestion that I always eat sitting down. I usually like to eat meals sitting down, because I can use eating utensils and eat messy foods (like peanut butter and fruit on a muffin) over a plate without spilling if I sit at a table. However, I sometimes feel so starved when I finally enter my kitchen to prepare a meal that I want a bite of something to bring up my blood sugar, prevent dizziness and irritability, and make me feel less desperate while I prepare the meal. I like 1-2 cherries, a slice of apple, a chunk of cantaloupe, or a bite or 2 of other fruits which can stabilize my blood sugar without destroying my appetite for the upcoming meal. After a small snack, I may not need to eat a whole plateful of my meal. So I toss or save leftovers for another meal, because my stomach tells me when I no longer need food, not the empty plate.
Likewise, I often want a taste of something sweet after a meal. I don't need a whole dish of dessert. I'm already full, but just want a sweet finish to satisfy a craving for something sweet. So I eat a bite of fruit, 1 date, 1-2 teaspoonfuls of ice cream or a bite of a cookie. If I'm sitting at the table and my husband offers to bring me a dish of ice cream or a container or whole piece of fruit, I decline. I only want a taste, which I can have standing up at the kitchen counter, rather than facing a whole dishful of dessert, when I only need a bite or 2. I can still focus on the tastes and textures of that 1-2 bites while standing in the kitchen. I want to get up from the table to move on to my next activity. I'm done with eating, but I still want a taste. So I eat that taste while standing up, rather serving myself 2 cherries on a plate, which looks rather empty, sitting down at a table and eating. Maybe I'm rationalizing stand up eating. However, if I take the time to serve myself a dish of ice cream, I'm less likely to want to just eat 2 bites.
Perhaps the only advantage of sitting down to eat with my plate of food in front of me is that I can see how much I plan to eat. If I only eat with my 'eyes' or what I think my stomach needs, but disregard my stomach hunger or fullness cues, sitting down with my plate of food could limit how much I eat. However, if I grab food, when I enter the kitchen famished, and eat that food while I prepare more food, my stomach WILL tell me that I'm full, sometimes before I finish what I prepared. I may feel 'deprived' if I choose to obey my full cues and stop eating, unless I remind myself that I also ate while I prepared the food.
Sometimes that deprived feeling motivates me to eat less or not eat the next time I prepare food. However, I never regret eating a few bites while I'm famished while preparing a meal. If I don't eat a few bites, I may think I need to prepare or serve myself a LOT more than I really need to satisfy my hunger. (A few bites of fruit, like 2 cherries, decreases my hunger from intense to moderate.) So even if I forget abou those bites of food while I prepare food, my stomach does not forget and reminds me even before I finish what I prepared. If I honor my fullness cues, whether I eat standing up or sitting down, I stop eating when I feel comfortably full. If I allow the amount on my plate dictate how much I eat, I'm not really eating intuitively.
How many rules do I need in order to eat intuitively? I count 3: (1) Eat when I sense true, physiological stomach hunger; (2) Eat foods which feel good in my body and keep me unhungry for awhile (unless I'm just trying to raise blood sugar for a brief period); and (3) Stop eating when I feel comfortable (no longer hungry but not overly full). Some intuitive nondiet gurus add "Eat consciously or pay attention to the food while you eat." I prefer to pay attention to how the food feels in my STOMACH as well as how the food tastes and feels in my mouth. Enjoying mouth feel while ignoring stomach sensations can influence me to keep eating to prolong mouth pleasure. Nevertheless I believe 'intuitive eating' by definition requires conscious eating or paying attention to stomach cues, before, during and after eating. How can I eat only when hungry, foods that feel good in my body and stop when I feel comfortable full if I DON'T pay attention to my body?
I suspect many intuitive eating writers (like Geneen Roth in "Breaking Free from Emotional Eating" and Karen Koenig in "Rules of Normal Eating") include many exercises to help former dieters and/or overeaters LEARN to eat intuitively. However, they may not always need to follow those learning rules or exercises after intuitive eating becomes their normal eating style. Maybe I've progressed far enough in my intuitive eating that I feel freer to break a few rules and see what happens.
'Eating the Moment' author Pavel G. Somov suggests exercises to limit how much we eat, because he believes most people ignore their stomach cues and eat according to visual cues. He says that we eat to satisfy needs of the body, needs of the mind, and out of habit when triggered by environmental cues. However, he also includes ways to tune into stomach sensations for physical hunger and fullness. So some of his exercises support intuitive eating goals.
Even Judy Halladay, author of "ThinWithin", suggests 8 keys to conscious eating, which include eat only when hungry and stop eating when satsified AS WELL AS eat sitting down, without distractions, eat slowly, etc. or rules to help us eat only when hungry and stop when satisfied, because most people have difficulty recognizing and obeying stomach cues. So those who suggest mindful eating rules assume that people will NOT obey their stomach cues. Rather than let their bodies tell them when and how much to eat, then must make conscious mental decisions about where and how to eat in order to limit when and how much to eat.
In contrast, intuitive eating, by definition, is eating according to physical cues, rather than mental cravings. The longer I practice intuitive eating, the less I want to follow rules about how and where I eat. To me intuitive eating means eatingin response to physical cues of hunger foods which feel good in my body (not just taste good) and keep me unhungry for awhiile (which is why I eat), stopping when I feel physically satisfied and/or comfortably full. I initially needed to eat without distractions while I learned to recognize those stomach cues. However I now wonder: do I need to ALWAYS eat sitting down while focussing only on my food and stomach sensations in order to recognize stomach cues that I am no longer hungry and can stop eating? If I needed to always focus only on my body cues, I could never eat with another person. If I can only eat intuitively when I completely focus on eating, I must always eat in a quiet, uncluttered room lest I be distracted and overlook my physical sensations of fullness and/or satisfaction.
I'm least likely to follow the suggestion that I always eat sitting down. I usually like to eat meals sitting down, because I can use eating utensils and eat messy foods (like peanut butter and fruit on a muffin) over a plate without spilling if I sit at a table. However, I sometimes feel so starved when I finally enter my kitchen to prepare a meal that I want a bite of something to bring up my blood sugar, prevent dizziness and irritability, and make me feel less desperate while I prepare the meal. I like 1-2 cherries, a slice of apple, a chunk of cantaloupe, or a bite or 2 of other fruits which can stabilize my blood sugar without destroying my appetite for the upcoming meal. After a small snack, I may not need to eat a whole plateful of my meal. So I toss or save leftovers for another meal, because my stomach tells me when I no longer need food, not the empty plate.
Likewise, I often want a taste of something sweet after a meal. I don't need a whole dish of dessert. I'm already full, but just want a sweet finish to satisfy a craving for something sweet. So I eat a bite of fruit, 1 date, 1-2 teaspoonfuls of ice cream or a bite of a cookie. If I'm sitting at the table and my husband offers to bring me a dish of ice cream or a container or whole piece of fruit, I decline. I only want a taste, which I can have standing up at the kitchen counter, rather than facing a whole dishful of dessert, when I only need a bite or 2. I can still focus on the tastes and textures of that 1-2 bites while standing in the kitchen. I want to get up from the table to move on to my next activity. I'm done with eating, but I still want a taste. So I eat that taste while standing up, rather serving myself 2 cherries on a plate, which looks rather empty, sitting down at a table and eating. Maybe I'm rationalizing stand up eating. However, if I take the time to serve myself a dish of ice cream, I'm less likely to want to just eat 2 bites.
Perhaps the only advantage of sitting down to eat with my plate of food in front of me is that I can see how much I plan to eat. If I only eat with my 'eyes' or what I think my stomach needs, but disregard my stomach hunger or fullness cues, sitting down with my plate of food could limit how much I eat. However, if I grab food, when I enter the kitchen famished, and eat that food while I prepare more food, my stomach WILL tell me that I'm full, sometimes before I finish what I prepared. I may feel 'deprived' if I choose to obey my full cues and stop eating, unless I remind myself that I also ate while I prepared the food.
Sometimes that deprived feeling motivates me to eat less or not eat the next time I prepare food. However, I never regret eating a few bites while I'm famished while preparing a meal. If I don't eat a few bites, I may think I need to prepare or serve myself a LOT more than I really need to satisfy my hunger. (A few bites of fruit, like 2 cherries, decreases my hunger from intense to moderate.) So even if I forget abou those bites of food while I prepare food, my stomach does not forget and reminds me even before I finish what I prepared. If I honor my fullness cues, whether I eat standing up or sitting down, I stop eating when I feel comfortably full. If I allow the amount on my plate dictate how much I eat, I'm not really eating intuitively.
How many rules do I need in order to eat intuitively? I count 3: (1) Eat when I sense true, physiological stomach hunger; (2) Eat foods which feel good in my body and keep me unhungry for awhile (unless I'm just trying to raise blood sugar for a brief period); and (3) Stop eating when I feel comfortable (no longer hungry but not overly full). Some intuitive nondiet gurus add "Eat consciously or pay attention to the food while you eat." I prefer to pay attention to how the food feels in my STOMACH as well as how the food tastes and feels in my mouth. Enjoying mouth feel while ignoring stomach sensations can influence me to keep eating to prolong mouth pleasure. Nevertheless I believe 'intuitive eating' by definition requires conscious eating or paying attention to stomach cues, before, during and after eating. How can I eat only when hungry, foods that feel good in my body and stop when I feel comfortable full if I DON'T pay attention to my body?
I suspect many intuitive eating writers (like Geneen Roth in "Breaking Free from Emotional Eating" and Karen Koenig in "Rules of Normal Eating") include many exercises to help former dieters and/or overeaters LEARN to eat intuitively. However, they may not always need to follow those learning rules or exercises after intuitive eating becomes their normal eating style. Maybe I've progressed far enough in my intuitive eating that I feel freer to break a few rules and see what happens.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Physical and Emotional Well-Being Update
In my last 3 posts I grappled with discontentment about moderating my board (Find Truth Get Free). I considered whether I felt appreciated by board members or effective in helping them change their problem eating habits. After chatting (IM) with one member and reading comments to my last 2 posts, I realized my issue was neither appreciation nor effectiveness, but BOUNDARIES.
After treating C-diff with flagyl and suffering those awful side effects, I felt so much better that I didn't want to feel obligated to sit at this computer to moderate my board. I want more time to enjoy our unusually warm summer weather, do gardening chores, bike and take day trips with my husband. During the past few months while I was sick with undiagnosed C-diff bacteria and then suffering through flagyl side effects, I didn't feel well enough to get out and do much. So I loved posting on my board. When I started feeling better, I didn't want to feel so obligated to spend so much time posting (unless I felt tired and wanted to sit). I realized that I just needed to set better boundaries on my time or to decide to post only at certain times of day, like when I didn't feel so energetic.
Ironically on the day I wrote my "appreciated vs. effective" post I began to suffer symptoms of more gut inflammation (irregularity, bloating, cramping pain and passing lots of mucous). Yesterday I didn't feel well enough to do much. I also worried that I still had raging C-diff bacteria. However, I decided to just keep taking my probiotics, getting exercise, drinking lots of fluids and see what happened. This morning, I still had cramping pain but almost no mucous or irregularity. Maybe my good guy bacteria (from probiotics) fought off whatever caused the inflammation. Maybe I unintentionally ate some allergen. Something caused inflammation (indicated by mucous), but I seem to be doing better today.
Some nonceliacs have asked me why I continue to have gut problems, even though I abstain from gluten. Most celiac medical gurus say the intestinal villi (damaged by gluten antibodies) will completely heal in 6 months to 2 years after someone stops eating gluten. Most say people who were diagnosed with CD as adults, may need 2 years, because they sustained long term damage during the years they may have been misdiagnosed (or discounted) by their doctors.
However I recently read an article on Celiac.com "Full Gut Recovery Rare in Adult Celiac Disease Despite Gluten-free Diet" by Jefferson Adams, which suggests that "complete recovery of intestinal mucosa occurs very rarely in patients with celiac disease, despite adherence to a gluten-free diet". From the results of a study, "the research team concluded that complete normalization of duodenal lesions is exceptionally rare in cases of adult celiac disease despite adherence to a gluten-free diet, disappearance of symptoms, and negative blood tests for celiac disease". That could contribute to 'leaky gut syndrome' where larger food proteins leak into the blood and cause food allergies. (I have 6 food allergies in addition to gluten intolerance.) Unhealed duodenal lesions could also explain why I continue to feel pain (not just pressure) when I have bloating or inflammatory reactions to bacterial dysbiosis or food allergies.
OH JOY! I may suffer a painful sensitive gut for the rest of my life, which makes eating less enjoyable. Oh well, at least I can easily resist overeating, because getting too full is PAINFUL for me. So unhealed intestinal lesions will keep me thin, if not healthy. I want to (sarcastically) express my thanks to all those doctors who misdiagnosed my symptoms as IBS for over 10 years, while CD damaged my intestinal villae, which may never completely heal now. GRRRRRR!!!
After treating C-diff with flagyl and suffering those awful side effects, I felt so much better that I didn't want to feel obligated to sit at this computer to moderate my board. I want more time to enjoy our unusually warm summer weather, do gardening chores, bike and take day trips with my husband. During the past few months while I was sick with undiagnosed C-diff bacteria and then suffering through flagyl side effects, I didn't feel well enough to get out and do much. So I loved posting on my board. When I started feeling better, I didn't want to feel so obligated to spend so much time posting (unless I felt tired and wanted to sit). I realized that I just needed to set better boundaries on my time or to decide to post only at certain times of day, like when I didn't feel so energetic.
Ironically on the day I wrote my "appreciated vs. effective" post I began to suffer symptoms of more gut inflammation (irregularity, bloating, cramping pain and passing lots of mucous). Yesterday I didn't feel well enough to do much. I also worried that I still had raging C-diff bacteria. However, I decided to just keep taking my probiotics, getting exercise, drinking lots of fluids and see what happened. This morning, I still had cramping pain but almost no mucous or irregularity. Maybe my good guy bacteria (from probiotics) fought off whatever caused the inflammation. Maybe I unintentionally ate some allergen. Something caused inflammation (indicated by mucous), but I seem to be doing better today.
Some nonceliacs have asked me why I continue to have gut problems, even though I abstain from gluten. Most celiac medical gurus say the intestinal villi (damaged by gluten antibodies) will completely heal in 6 months to 2 years after someone stops eating gluten. Most say people who were diagnosed with CD as adults, may need 2 years, because they sustained long term damage during the years they may have been misdiagnosed (or discounted) by their doctors.
However I recently read an article on Celiac.com "Full Gut Recovery Rare in Adult Celiac Disease Despite Gluten-free Diet" by Jefferson Adams, which suggests that "complete recovery of intestinal mucosa occurs very rarely in patients with celiac disease, despite adherence to a gluten-free diet". From the results of a study, "the research team concluded that complete normalization of duodenal lesions is exceptionally rare in cases of adult celiac disease despite adherence to a gluten-free diet, disappearance of symptoms, and negative blood tests for celiac disease". That could contribute to 'leaky gut syndrome' where larger food proteins leak into the blood and cause food allergies. (I have 6 food allergies in addition to gluten intolerance.) Unhealed duodenal lesions could also explain why I continue to feel pain (not just pressure) when I have bloating or inflammatory reactions to bacterial dysbiosis or food allergies.
OH JOY! I may suffer a painful sensitive gut for the rest of my life, which makes eating less enjoyable. Oh well, at least I can easily resist overeating, because getting too full is PAINFUL for me. So unhealed intestinal lesions will keep me thin, if not healthy. I want to (sarcastically) express my thanks to all those doctors who misdiagnosed my symptoms as IBS for over 10 years, while CD damaged my intestinal villae, which may never completely heal now. GRRRRRR!!!
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